Considering Proverbs 12:8-9

A man shall be commended according to his wisdom: but he that is of a perverse heart shall be despised. He that is despised, and hath a servant, is better than he that honoureth himself, and lacketh bread (Proverbs 12:8-9).

Sometimes we see contradicting ideas within the Proverbs, such as with Proverbs 12:8-9. However, these two ideas provide a contradiction that goes together nicely, with the second expanding the idea proposed in the first.

In Proverbs 12:8, it states that a man gains positive recognition for his wisdom, while a man that has a perverse, or we could say crooked, unjust, or unrighteous in heart, is despised.

When all things work as they should, presuming we do not live in a culture that calls evil good and good evil, this proverb rings true. The upright appreciates men and women of wisdom because their wisdom brings good things to those around them.

In Proverbs 12:9, it states that a despised man with a servant is better than a man that honors himself yet lacks bread.

Maybe I’m not looking at this correctly, but it seems to me that in the second case, the despised man is actually a man of virtue. Perhaps, he is despised because of his virtue. Yet he retains some measure of honor that is given to him from his servant.

On the other hand, it does not matter how much honor a person gives themselves, because this honor does nothing to truly sustain him. Just as he lacks bread, which is necessary for sustaining his physical life, his prideful self-honor points to a spiritual lack which does nothing to sustain his soul.

As Christians, we know that all wisdom comes from God, and the wisdom that He grants us will be recognized and appreciated by those who value the good things of God. However, we also know that we can be despised for these virtues by those who hate God. Jesus said, “If you were of the world, the world would love you, but because I have called you out of the world, the world hates you.”

While many might brag about their own wisdom—which is not the wisdom of God but of this world—the glory gained is empty. As Christians, we do not want to trouble ourselves with gaining recognition from people, but from God. The scriptures also teach us that we should not make a big deal about ourselves, but rather, “let another man’s lips praise you.” Rather, we should “glory in our weakness.” Meaning, we should highlight our faults rather than highlight our virtues.

Sometimes we do honor one another, and this is right so long as that honor is given in Christ. For example, we might praise a fellow servant while giving all glory to God for the gifts given to them. If we receive such honor, then we should always direct that praise to God because we cannot do anything without Him, and any praise of men—even if it is well-placed—can tempt us to vanity.

In the world today, it seems that those who honor themselves are honored. Our present-day culture of self-love is a great sickness that leads to so much emptiness, because when a person is full of themselves, they cannot be filled with Christ.

Self-love is pride, which is the root of all sin. The only form of self-love that is acceptable is that which appreciates the fact that we are made in the image of God, yet because of our sin we are separated from Him. Because we love our soul—in the sense that we want our soul to live—we care for our soul by submitting our will to the will of God. So, in one sense we die to ourselves, but in another sense, we are being made alive. There is a godly form of self-love and there is a corrupted version of it.

How sad it is that many confuse the two. Many choose to pursue pleasure and gratification of their basic and animalistic desires—desires that might seem good at first but lead to a lot of pain. For the Christian, it is the opposite. We choose temporary pain as we let go of our self-gratifying behaviors so that we can find lasting pleasure in the Kingdom of Heaven.

This process takes time, and it is not easy to do. It is not easy to deny ourselves and follow Christ, but with His grace we can. As we do this, we gain more wisdom that enables us to serve God and serve others, and those who value these good things will commend us while those who value self-love will think we are foolish.

Unfortunately, the culture of self-love is not exclusive to the unbelieving world. What’s worse is when Christian culture adopts these views, thereby hindering the faith those of us who are trying to die to self and live in Christ as He commands. This is something that I have experienced, and the temptation to double mindedness is no easy thing to deal with.

It’s hard to let go of covetousness when popular Christian culture condemns you for living a simple life, void of desires to enrich yourself.

It’s hard to forgive others and bear their sins with patience when popular Christian culture encourages self-righteousness and hypocrisy.

It is hard to forego temptations to participate in worldly entertainments when many Christians do so unashamedly.

It is hard to stand by the truth of a transformative gospel when the popular view of the gospel of “faith plus nothing” states that a person is saved no matter what after they make a one-time declaration of faith, even if they go on to live like unbelievers.

It is hard to worship God as He intends when modern worship tempts to vanity, accepting God’s forgiveness unfaithfully, and is generally self-focused instead of God-focused.

Is this not a falling away of the true Christian faith? If it is not explicitly, it is certainly leading to such a falling away, and it certainly leaves many lacking. Jesus is the bread of life, and if we are living for ourselves and not Him, then we are starved in the most detrimental sense.

Let’s not fall for self-honor, either outside of the realm of Christian culture or inside of it. Instead, let’s honor Jesus Christ our God, and in Him be made wise so that we can be useful for Him and for those who want to follow Him faithfully.

Assuming we agree so far, how is this done? How do we die to self and live in Christ? Christians have some difference of opinion about this.

From what I know as one who still needs to die, this is accomplished by continuing to pursue Jesus above all things. This means learning about what He teaches and accepting the truth of these things, even if many within the faith gloss over those teachings that contradict a life of self-gratification.

This means devoting time to prayer every day, and seeking the Lord to teach us how to pray in a manner that He accepts. We can begin by praying for our enemies, asking God to help us see our sin, and in faith asking for His grace by the Holy Spirit to work His goodness in us. Pursue humility and love. Humility keeps us grounded as we grow in the good things of God, and all the good things of God are summarized as loving God and loving others. We cannot love God and love others if we love ourselves, and He can help us overcome the self for His sake.

This also means separating yourself from people who tempt you to deny Christ, even those who claim to be Christian. This does not mean you think you are better, but out of a godly self-love, you keep yourself from unnecessary temptation. This also means asking God to help you find other faithful Christians who can mentor you and walk alongside you.

As you grow in your knowledge of God, He will teach you how to go through your life in a way that pleases Him. Try to be faithful, but if you fail, trust in His mercy. We fail many times, and it is no strange thing if the Enemy of your soul starts testing you. Expect his opposition, and learn to rely on Jesus all the more so that these hard times make you stronger. As you learn to be faithful in small, everyday things, which is what living as a Christian is all about, He will give you more. Then you are tested again. You might fall again. Then, you go to God and get up again. We are always dying and being reborn, and we will continue in this so long as we live.

In all things, keep faith with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, who died for you and now lives, and in Whom you can overcome all things. When we are weak, He is strong. When we honor Him and not ourselves, He honors us by revealing more of Himself to us. The more we see Him, the more we see our lack, thus keeping us grounded and humble while allowing us to grow in our love for Him and others.

This article is part of a bible study series, Considering the Proverbs. The purpose is to consider present-day events from a Christian perspective and to offer practical lessons that we can apply to ourselves as followers of Jesus Christ.

Previous Post Within This Series: Considering Proverbs 12:5-7 – The thoughts of the righteous are right: but the counsels of the wicked are deceit. The words of the wicked are to lie in wait for blood: but the mouth of the upright shall deliver them. The wicked are overthrown, and are not: but the house of the righteous shall stand.