So I will rescue my flock, and they will no longer be abused. I will judge between one animal of the flock and another.

-Ezekiel 34:22, NLT

Sadly, it is rare to find a pastor willing to hold a cheater to account for their abusive behavior. Far more common, you will find someone who states that they need to “hear both sides” of the story as if anything can justify the sin of infidelity.

Such is an abdication of the pastoral role to protect and correct the sheep.

To be fair, some cheaters won’t give the pastor the opportunity to confront them. They might be aware that it will not go well for them if they attended such a meeting; so, they don’t attend.

What I am talking about is a willful refusal to use pastoral authority to protect infidelity abuse survivors.

The conversation needs to change from hearing “both sides” to addressing the cheater as an abuser with the hope to end the abuse and bring them to repentance. This is proper spiritual care for both parties.

Pastors, we need to be willing to confront if we are not to abdicate our roles as shepherds in the image of the Good Shepherd.