Denial Is Not Always A Bad Thing! - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

wpid-img_20150502_210528.jpg

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age….

-Titus 2:11-12, NKJV (emphasis mine)

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

-Matthew 16:24, KJV (Quotation marks and emphasis added)

A school of thought I have heard regarding infidelity is that the person considering infidelity (or already engaging in such behavior) ought to explicitly acknowledge such feelings. It is no good denying and suppressing such feelings is how it is sold. I think I detected a version of that line of thinking in Dr. Chapman’s book (post here).

This is worldly thinking.

Denial of the flesh ought to be a way of life for ones truly belonging to Christ. So, denial is not always a bad thing. It is a godly thing in the right context.

The limited merit in this worldly way of thinking is its encouragement to be honest. God does want our honesty. However, that is the little bit of truth on which this false teaching is sold.

It is one thing to be honest in confession to your pastor, brother, or God. And it is quite another to actively engage in behavior strengthening those fleshly feelings by dwelling on them and sharing them with a party interested in you giving into such ungodly feelings!

The Apostle Paul teaches us to dwell upon godly and noble things in Philippians 4:8. Feelings inclining one to cheat is neither godly or noble. So, we are instructed to not dwell on them. This is not rocket science. It is Christian Living 101.

Denial of the flesh is a good thing. It prevents us from this weedy world entrapping our souls and drawing us away from our loving and holy Savior. And in my opinion, the Church would be a much healthier place if that sort of denial was extolled more.

2015-12-11-14.11.06.jpg.jpeg

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Requiring You To Follow Their Advice - Divorce Minister

    “You need to do this, or you wife will never come back,” says “friend.” I recently came across a video short on my phone. The speaker talked about how people who insist on you following their advice are not about care. They are about control. Some of us have had such “helpers” in our lives … Continue reading "Requiring You To Follow Their Advice"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A hug, not a kiss - Divorce Minister

    “Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading "A hug, not a kiss"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Yes "....at just the right time" - Divorce Minister

    You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading "Yes “….at just the right time”"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister

    “Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading "Cheater Still Blaming Spouse"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A Powerful Quote About Trauma - Divorce Minister

    This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading "A Powerful Quote About Trauma"

    1 min read

Editor's Picks

  • featureImage

    Training Versus Trying Part 1

    One of the concepts that we teach at Authentic Joy is the idea that in pursuing spiritual growth we need to have a training mindset not a trying mindset. We often use the metaphor of running a mara…

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    When You’ve Lost Hope

    Have you ever faced a tough circumstance and wondered, God, where are you? Maybe you’re in one of those situations right now. I’ve had them too. That was the situation with many of Jesus’ followers after He was crucified and buried. They had lost their hopes and dreams and didn’t know where to turn. Let’s take a look at one story. Read more...

    3 min read

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Requiring You To Follow Their Advice - Divorce Minister

    “You need to do this, or you wife will never come back,” says “friend.” I recently came across a video short on my phone. The speaker talked about how people who insist on you following their advice are not about care. They are about control. Some of us have had such “helpers” in our lives … Continue reading "Requiring You To Follow Their Advice"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A hug, not a kiss - Divorce Minister

    “Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading "A hug, not a kiss"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Yes "....at just the right time" - Divorce Minister

    You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading "Yes “….at just the right time”"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister

    “Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading "Cheater Still Blaming Spouse"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A Powerful Quote About Trauma - Divorce Minister

    This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading "A Powerful Quote About Trauma"

    1 min read