Finding Purpose in Suffering
"They are so heavenly-minded that they are no earthly good" is a false saying. Before my son’s death, heaven was a distant, abstract concept that others described, but I never felt close to. People came through the visitation line and repeatedly tried to comfort me by saying, “I bet heaven is more real to you now.” It wasn’t. I couldn’t see purpose in my suffering. In my mind, I loved God and tried to serve Him to the best of my ability. Yet He allowed my son’s death.
The anguish of a life lived without Jonathan took center stage. I could not see around it, and my body threatened to shut down every day. I was constantly sick, and a year later, I developed clots that went to my lungs. With certainty, I realized that unless heaven became more real to me, I wasn’t going to survive my son’s death. I needed to set my mind on things above because that is where God transforms my suffering into His glory.
Slowly, heaven emerged for me through questions, studying scripture, and God giving me present-day examples. The apostles in the New Testament made it clear that I was lacking something. I realized they could walk through suffering because being with Jesus and glorifying God mattered far more than anything they experienced on earth. God gave me imagery to illustrate that even in my loss, He was involved.
While touring a local Basilica, I stared up at the crucifixion. The artist depicted what was happening on earth, but above, God in heaven also had His arms outstretched to the Cross. All of heaven was involved in the crucifixion. Heaven instantly became more real to me, not because of Jonathan’s death but God’s presence.
I felt that same presence as I attended a funeral for a man who was an integral part of our community, our state, and our lives. Even the governor and senator came to pay their respects. His son shared, "It was not all the things he did to improve our lives that made him a great man. It was the fact that he loved the Lord his God, with all his heart, soul, and mind." My friend’s father was heavenly-minded! I left that funeral with the firm conviction that if my mind is indeed on the things of heaven, then I will be doing the greatest good here on earth.
Jonathan's death made me cling to the only one who gave me love, value, purpose, and meaning in the first place—Jesus Christ. Jonathan's death has forced me to renew the foundation that Christ laid, to strengthen it, and to fix my eyes on Jesus. Jonathan's death has increased my longing for things above, and I pray that my longing grows deeper. I want to be heaven-minded because this earth deserves nothing less than my best!
Questions for Reflection:
What is some event in your life that you are struggling to make sense of? Where does God fit in how you are processing it? Have you asked God to be your strength and guide through your struggle?
