Finding Stillness and Peace Amid the Weight of Grief: Embracing God’s Love Through Discontent and Self-Compassion
Five Minute Friday: Weight
Most Fridays, I join an online Christian writing community, Five Minute Friday. We are given a one-word prompt and write – unscripted, unedited, pure free-write – for 5 minutes. Five Minute Friday is a great place to hone my writing practice. It also allows me to be encouraged by other writers as I write. I will set the timer for five minutes and then write. Here we go! I am excited to invite you in, welcome.
“Embracing the Weight of Grief: Finding Peace, Self-Reflection, and God’s Love in Times of Discontent”
The prompt for this week’s five minute Friday post is weight. I did not expect for that word to catch me so off guard. I’m not sure if its because I am experiencing the weight of grief continuously and even compounded at times. I wonder if its because I have not taken the time to stop and pay attention to some unexplored discontent that I have been glossing over with positive thoughts, get it together thoughts, and harsh words. Nevertheless I am not letting it slip by unexplored.
Could this disquieted spirit be an invitation instead to come and see?
Come and see how God loves me even through my unbelief, disappointment, and discontent.
Come and see who I really am and that my worth lies deeper than the surface view.
Come and see that my hard work is paying off as I make time to care for my body through healthy food, rest, and exercise.
Come and see that my soul let’s go a little more of discontent when I reminding it of the truth and of what there is to be content about.
I can sense my shoulders relaxing a bit, I am ok. I know what to ask for now that I have laid it all out in the open for the Lord to carry with me. I don’t have to think thoughts in secret I can say them out loud to the Lord and then to someone I trust. I am discontent and I have begun a spiral of comparison that I thought I was too strong to pick back up.
I see a bubbling up of ways I want to shame myself, my body, my life, my home, and my relationships over things I have not given attention to because it seems frivolous to do so. How can I be worried about these trivial things when there are people suffering so much? But I know that if I don’t take the time to tend to them they will cause weeds to grow that will choke the good things growing alongside them.
I can also see that I am strong but I don’t have to be strong enough to never feel weak or fail again. That when I feel weak and fail I am not alone. I am held safely. I am still loved and dearly cherished. He continues to remind me, “ my grace is sufficient for you, I am strong in your weakness.” I can stop the spiral of comparison on its tracks because actually I am incomparable the way he made me is good and I am a delight to him. It might take a little bit for my brain and body to catch up but I will continue to come to him again and again. I will stop again and again to pray, journal, and play. My body is a good body holding space for my soul to rest, grieve, and become who I am meant to be all along.
So, I pray, “ I do believe Lord, help my unbelief. Please, right the things that have gone topsy turvy, and help me to be still in your presence. For I know that there I find the fullness of joy. You can me make me strong and you can give me eyes to see the truth of my beautiful life. I don’t want to miss it. You can realign my soul to your rhythm especially when I feel out of synch. Although, I may not feel weightless like a kite I can be sure you are holding me fast. I am trusting your steadfast love and your unchanging ways. Amen.
Gracefully,
What a perfect time to start honing your charcuterie skills! I have just the right thing to help you feel ready and confident while you gather. I created this simple and beautiful charcuterie guide for you. In my opinion it’s cute enough to show and then it would always be available for you! Plus, I am always honored to offer you practical content for purposeful and life giving time around the table. Check it out by clicking on the graphic below!
Processing…
Success! You're on the list.
