No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

-Job 2:13b, NIV

You can both forgive and still be revolted by your cheating spouse. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I am annoyed with pastors and churches pushing traumatized faithful spouses to “forgive” their Cheaters without understanding this. They too often have no empathy for the victims of adultery.

These wolves teach that a faithful spouse who is reluctant to enter into coitus with their Cheater shortly after discovering the extent of the infidelity is “unforgiving.”

Folks, this is spiritual abuse. It is wicked to coerce a traumatized individual into a relationship that feels (and probably still is) unsafe for them.

Forgiveness does NOT erase the trauma!

The body might still react with panic. It has nothing to do with whether or not the faithful spouse is capable of “forgiving.” This is just the reality about sin. The effects are not erased by forgiveness as if it is a magical spell.

A compassionate Christian and repentant Cheater would understand this. They would be patient and kind rather than demanding and impatient! The former is godly and the later is ungodly.