From saying lies to becoming a liar. - Divorce Minister

Outside the city are the dogs–the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie.

-Revelation 22:15, NLT

Lie to Liar.

At some point, I believe God gives cheaters over to their lies. They no longer are people telling lies. They are liars.

The lie is what the cheater now lives.

This is why cheaters, I believe, are so convincing when they lie to us and others. They actually believe what they are saying is true.

Cheaters are “clever” in the ways they let themselves off the hook:

“It didn’t count as cheating. She only gave me blow jobs.”

“I want a God-honoring marriage, and so I am taking a stand against my current marriage. [The Other Man I am banging has no bearing on that ‘commitment.’]”

“We weren’t living the same house anymore. So, marital status doesn’t mean anything (funny how that was never communicated to the faithful spouse in marriage counseling during this separation time).”

I am actually sad for these people. The eternal destiny of those who live a lie is bleak as the verse from Revelations 22 illustrates.

But another thing is important to note:

If a cheater has made the transition from lie to liar, it is unwise trying to convince them of reality and truth. They have lost the capacity for that rational conversation.

Save your breath.

You can pray for them to see the truth. However, I suspect God allows them to believe the lie because God honors our choices even if they are destructive ones like choosing to live a lie.

It is an exercise in futility and frustration trying to change the mind of someone who is convinced a lie is true. Save yourself some grief.

Move on knowing you know what is true even if they do not.

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*A version of this post ran previously.