Having the Heart of God

For years of my life—and I do mean years—I have asked God to change how I love. I asked Him to change me. I got tired of giving and feeling depleted afterward. I got tired of allowing yet another person into my world only for me to end up disappointed and dropped at the end. (This goes for both romantic and non-romantic relationships) And when God didn’t take this heart from me, I vowed to be different. I vowed to not allow others to be as accessible to me as I would have in the past. I went into full self-preservation mode. I needed to be hard, guarded, and fortified.

Some of you reading this are much like me in this way and may be wondering what’s so bad about this. After all, we live in a world where we believe that “matching energy” is the best move to someone not appreciating us for who we are. If someone doesn’t speak to you then you don’t speak to them. If someone doesn’t like your posts on social media, then you’re blind to whatever they post. And don’t get me wrong, I have been guilty as charged. Trust me…we all have!

But here lies the problem with this. The Bible says to do to others what you would have them do to you; (Matt. 7:12) NOT the other way around. It didn’t say do to others what they have done to you. That’s not the scripture. And I know it can be hard. Trust me…I KNOW! But, this is literally what God called us to do. No one said that living the word was easy.

I don’t know how many of you reading this have a heart like mine. I love hard—freely; giving with everything that I have and expecting nothing but reciprocity. I can be extremely forgiving that sometimes there are those that take advantage of it. And I’m caring. I’ve learned to stop saying to a fault—this is not a “fault”. It’s not mine and it’s not theirs. Being caring is a GIFT!

Does this sound like someone you know?

No, it isn’t you. It’s God!

It’s amazing that we don’t realize that this is exactly how God is. But, the great news is that He’s so much better at the way He loves than we are. Because while we can say that we’ve loved and changed based on how others have treated us, He has never changed because He literally cannot go against who He is as a faithful, loving, caring, giving, and forgiving God. (2 Tim. 2:13)

So, I loved that God revealed this to me: that He gave me a heart after His own heart.

Not everyone has a heart the way He does and yet for some reason, He chose to give it to me. Who am I that He is mindful of me?

Because I hated having this heart. I hated supporting others when they didn’t support me, I wanted to stop. I hated giving to others that have literally made my life a living hell. I felt they didn’t deserve it…and I wanted to stop. I hated forgiving people that would repeatedly, and sometimes purposely, offend me. I wanted to stop.

And then I realized that God has felt all of this and more. And what’s worse…He’s felt it from ME! The one who was so upset that others had done it to her.

Wow…when we think of our own audacity, it can sometimes be astounding! I had a lot of nerves hating the same heart that God continually forgave me with over…and over…and over…again.

It was at this moment that I realized that my heart was special. My heart was made to love differently, because while we can talk about a great God in the sky that loves us so much, sometimes people need to have that kind of love right here on this big, green earth. And if God has given you such a heart, then relish it.

I know it doesn’t feel good. But, think about the many times you’ve been disappointed. Then stop and remember just how many times God has been disappointed by you alone…then add the entire human race!

So, is it really any wonder why the scripture tells us in Psalms 34:18 that, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”? By now you should realize that God is close to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit because He has felt that very same way Himself. Aren’t you able to sympathize with those who have experienced a terrible ordeal that much more when you can say you’ve been through it yourself? Well, this is why God sympathizes with you and your heartache; He’s been there…MANY TIMES!

He gets it. He has that heart. And He gave you that heart!

So stop trying to change who you are. Stop withholding who you are. Stop being upset with who you are. Because who you are is exactly how God made you to be. And if He gave you a heart that forgives with no bounds, understand that He gave you a heart that very much matches His own. But, the good news is that He understands how painful and hurting it can be, so He’s so much closer to you than you even realize.

You don’t have to match energy with others, because your energy is already matched with God. Now that’s a vibe! I guarantee you that you are the one who has always stood out. You are the one who never understood why people didn’t get you or even like you. They didn’t get you because you were purposed to be different. Not everyone can understand your heart, so He needed you to draw closer to the one who does—HIM! But, understand that if you’ve ever given any part of you to someone who has dropped, disappointed, or hurt you—they needed it! So, don’t regret it. Because your heart helped them, even if you didn’t see it at the time.

So, keep loving in the big way that you do. Keep forgiving even when it’s so hard. Keep caring even when you think you’re unappreciated. And you can do it with a fresher perspective now that you know that you would be lost if God ever matched your vibe!

And if you’ve changed who you are and how you love based on how others have treated you, simply ask, “God, Give me YOUR heart back!” Be thankful that God thought enough of you to give you that great, big heart—a heart like His own!