How to continually attract your husband

A bride and groom staring at and embracing each other. (Photo taken by Jonathan Borba from Pexels website)

After your long and promising wedding vows, do you still bother to attract your husband? 

Now that you have been together a long time, or maybe you are just a newly wedded couple, you have discovered some of his undesirable behaviors of him. Do you still care about how your husband looks at you?

Some married couples who have been together for more than ten years do not even bother to attract their spouse because they seem so comfortable with each other. 

However, we should make comfortability as an excuse not to spice up our marriage even if we have been together for a long time. One of the purposes of marriage is to enjoy life with the one you choose to be your lifetime partner. 

Why do I need to attract my husband?

God desires you to please your husband. Our first purpose as women is to be a suitable helper to our partner, including making him happy just as they want us to be satisfied. It is one way of honoring the Lord when we attract our husbands.

Moreover, we can help our husbands avoid temptations by doing our best to attract them. 

A study shows that more than 500 people identified that the eight primary reasons why husband cheats are because of anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, neglect, and sexual desires.

Doing our best to attract our husband could increase his self-confidence and make him love us more than ever to avoid committing sins against God and our marriage

Additionally, attracting our husbands is one way to build a happy home. Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”  

We, as wives, are designed to build our home and not to diminish it. One way is to maintain love and affection for our spouse.

How to attract my husband?

Can I still make my husband attracted to me, just like the first day we met? 

Yes, you still can. You must protect your home from the enemy if you want a Christ-centered marriage. 

Remember, your husband did not choose you to spend the rest of his life with if he was not attracted to you physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Here are some ways to attract your husband regardless of how long you have been married.

Understand that lovemaking means a lot

A married couple having a romantic time in a bathtub. (Photo taken by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels website)

I know it could be a sensitive topic for someone uncomfortable discussing sexual intimacy. However, based on research, lovemaking is part of your husband’s needs. 

I had difficulty accepting this fact since I knew premarital sex was a sin. Now that I got married, I feel like indulging in marital sex is still a sin and makes me uncomfortable.

However, in marriage, sex is a gift to enjoy and an essential part of having a happy and healthy relationship with your spouse.

More so, we must accept that to attract our spouses, we should not resent or reject them for their need for lovemaking. Tim and Beverly La Haye said in their book, “The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love,” that most wives fail to understand what lovemaking means to a man.

Besides, they emphasized that God made man the aggressor, provider, and leader of his family, which is somehow connected to his sex drive. It satisfies your husband when you are willing and happy to do lovemaking with him.

As a wife, we must understand that it is a part of our husband’s nature. 

Respect him

The husband hugging his wife while she is preparing a sandwich. (Photo taken by Amina Filkins from Pexels website)

Regardless of your set-up at home, whether you work and your husband stays at home or vice versa, to attract your husband is to respect him. Women empowerment is good, but to overpower men is not. 

Yes, we are given the right to pursue our careers and have higher workplace positions. Yet, when it comes to our home, we still need to submit to our husband and respect him.

Submission does not mean “inherent inferiority.” Just like Jesus Christ, who is equal in status to the Father but willingly submits himself to the Father’s will. The same way is true for wives, who are equal in value and worth to men because both are created in God’s image.

Nevertheless, men and women have different roles in marriage, as Paul compared husbands with Jesus as the head of the church. Ephesians 5:24 says, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

It means as the church voluntarily submits to Jesus, so also wives should freely and willingly submit to their husbands. Moreover, “in everything” should not be taken absolutely since we should not submit to our husband regarding harmful, sinful, and contrary to God’s command.

To attract our husbands, we must show them respect by submitting to their authority in our house. Our respect should not be based on how much income they bring but on how much we love them and the Lord.

Stay pretty even at home

A woman putting on her lipstick. (Photo taken by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels website)

No husband would ever want to come home tired at work seeing a wife who smelled like onions because of cooking dinner. 

Although being a stay-at-home mom is tiring and seems like you never get to finish any tasks when you know your husband is about to come home, spend time making yourself pretty. We should try our best to look our best for our husbands.

You are not just doing it for your husband but for yourself. Sometimes, wives could feel insecure about others looking beautiful because they let themselves be that way. Not because we stay at home and care for the house means we would not try to look pretty. 

Your husband would appreciate you if when he came home looking pretty. It does not have to be expensive. You can take a bath, fix your hair, or put up some make-up or lipstick just to make you look nice. 

My husband always loved seeing me get dressed, even whenever I was home. For him, it feels like being with someone he first met and fell in love with for the first time. Men are attracted to physical aspects. That is the first reason why he pursued you in the first place.

Control your mouth

A woman nagging her husband. (Photo taken by RDNE Stock Project from Pexels website)

A nagging wife is a pain in the neck of a husband. Imagine him coming home every day with your restless mouth. We cannot attract our husbands with our non-stop talking. We should be their energy vampires that exhaust their energies by listening to our words.

One way to attract our husbands is to control our mouths from speaking. I have proven that my husband would never listen to me if I nagged him. But, if I tried to talk with him gently and at the perfect timing, we have a deal.

James 1:19 says we should be quick to listen and slow to speak and become angry. Husbands are irritated with wives who speak first before they listen. They also have needs, desires, and plans, so we must control our mouths and listen to them before reacting. 

Let us not manipulate our husbands through our words. Controlling our mouths does not mean we cannot voice out our feelings or complaints. But, we can do it the right way and at the right time.

Pray for your husband’s success

A woman praying on her bed. (Photo taken by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels website)

A prayerful woman is a blessing to her husband. When you pray for your husband, you let God work in his life. Praying for your husband’s desires and weaknesses is one way to support him. 

Despite the conflicts and struggles you are experiencing in your marriage, just pray and let God take over for the things you cannot control. Your purpose in attracting your husband is not for you to change him but to help him and motivate him to change whatever he needs. 

Prayer is essential to protect our husband from downfall and continue showing love and respect to him despite imperfections.

As we pray for them, we are not asking for luck but for God’s blessing in their careers. Also, we can ask God for us to give us the strength and compassion to forgive our husbands for their imperfections and weakness.

Serve your husband

A wife serving food to her husband. (Photo taken by Anna Shvets from Pexels website)

As much as we wanted to feel we were being cared for by our husbands, they also desired the same way. Let us not make motherhood and our work stop us from serving our husbands. It is a simple gesture to attract them.

Though in this generation, stay-at-home dads are becoming prevalent, but still, a husband would want their wives to serve them. Make sure we balance our time with everything. Serving each other is a way to show your love for each other. He could serve you like a queen as you treat her like your king.

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Jepryll Torremoro

I am God's daughter who wanted to proclaim His goodness through writing. I believe that I am called to write for His glory. I am a Pastor's wife and has been serving in the ministry since I was young. As a writer, I want to share how God sustains me in my motherhood and in my marriage. Also, I want to discover more about Jesus and how I could be more like Him. Writing has become a platform for me to strengthen my faith and at the same time share it to others. It is my passion to serve God through maximizing my gift in writing.