How to correct our churchmates in a Christian way
We all had to deal with correcting someone we care about in our church community at some point.
In reality, it is a sensitive subject. No one likes being the 'bad guy' pointing out someone else's mistakes.
Here is the thing— ignoring the issue does not make it go away. Letting things slide can sometimes lead to more significant problems.
So, how do we tackle this without causing a rift or damaging friendships?
How to correct our churchmates in a Christian way
How you will approach your churchmate matters a lot, but you are not alone.
The Bible offers some truly timeless advice on how to do this delicate task. Jesus was a master at speaking the truth but always in love and our aim should be the same.
We will walk through some Bible-backed steps to ensure we're not just pointing fingers but helping each other grow in faith. When we do it correctly, these difficult conversations can become incredible opportunities for deepening relationships and drawing us closer to God.
Here is a step-by-step guide on how to correct our churchmates the way Jesus would.
Pray for wisdom and discernment
The first essential step is prayer. If you were not sure about how to approach a situation? Ask God for some wisdom.
James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
It is like getting advice from a trusted friend, but even better. Before confronting a churchmate, take a pause. Talk with God, seek His guidance, and let Him lead the way.
He got our backs, after all. We are already off to a great start with God's wisdom in our corner.
Self-examination: Check your own heart
Before you march to your churchmate, let's do a quick gut check. Matthew 7:3-5 has Jesus advising us to deal with our flaws before pointing out someone else's.
Imagine trying to remove a speck of dust from someone's eye while you've got a giant log in yours. Hilarious, but not helpful, right?
So, take a moment. Ask yourself, "Why am I doing this? Is it out of love or because I just want to be 'self-righteous'?"
Remember, this isn't about showing someone how 'good' you are; it’s about both of you growing closer to God.
In short, let us keep our intentions pure. If you found something in your heart that needs dealing with, handle that first. This way, approaching your churchmate is from a place of humility and genuine concern. Sounds fair, does not it?
Choose the right time and place
The place and the time you talk to your churchmate could be a significant game changer. Picture this: You confront your churchmate right after a stressful service. Bad timing, right? The message could get lost amid the chaos.
Choose a moment when both of you have free time and are less likely to be distracted.
Perhaps a quiet coffee shop a peaceful corner in the park would work, or someplace where you can talk without feeling rushed. Trust me, you don't want to do this when either of you runs on empty, emotionally or otherwise.
Think of it like setting the stage for a meaningful, sincere conversation. A good atmosphere can make a difficult task a lot easier. So, do not underestimate the power of the right time and place. This might just be the secret ingredient to making things go smoothly.
Communication: Using “I” statements
So, you've found the perfect time and place. Now comes the big moment: the actual talk.
How you phrase things matters. The “I statements” help keep things cool and collected. Instead of saying, "You make me feel bad when you do that," try flipping it to, "I feel hurt when this happens." See the difference?
Using "I" statements keeps the focus on how you're feeling instead of making it sound like you're attacking the other person. It's like saying, "Hey, let's work on this together," rather than, "You need to fix this." This keeps things friendly and open.
Offering grace and listening
One crucial part of correcting your churchmates is listening to them. It is two-way communication. Give your churchmates the floor to share their thoughts, too.
James 1:19 says, "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."
We should show grace as God has given us His abundant grace. We all mess up. Who has not needed a little forgiveness now and then?
Offering grace means leaving room for mistakes, learning, and growing. This sets the tone for a conversation that is not just about correcting but also about loving and understanding each other better.
Incorporate scriptural guidance
The Bible is like having an extra playbook, but one that has been around for ages and is packed with wisdom. Still, we should be careful how we do it. Quoting scripture can sometimes feel like you are using it as a weapon, and nobody wants this.
The key is to make it relevant and heartfelt. Maybe share a verse that has helped you in similar situations or offer it to find common ground. Think of it as adding divine guidance to your convo, making the conversation richer and rooted in faith.
Seek mediation if necessary
Consider asking someone to mediate between the two of you. Even the Bible suggests it.
In Matthew 18:16, Jesus says if things aren't working out one-on-one, bring in one or two others to help sort it out.
Choosing a mediator is not like picking a sidekick to back you up in a fight, though. Pick someone unbiased and respected by both parties. Their role is not to take sides, offer a fresh perspective, and help find a resolution.
It is like having a referee in a friendly game as it keeps things fair and square.
Keep the relationship in mind
Remember, this is not about 'winning' an argument but preserving a relationship. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. So, let us keep our eyes on the prize— a stronger, more loving relationship with our churchmate.
The point is not to prove how right you are. It's to grow together in your faith journey. It's like being on a team. You might have different roles, but aim for the same goal—to grow closer to God. Keep that in mind, and you won't go far wrong.
Follow-up
The conversation might be over, but the journey is not. Having a quick follow-up can go a long way. This is like watering a plant after planting it: you must ensure it takes root.
A simple "Hey, how are things going since we talked?" can make a huge impact.
Besides, it shows that you genuinely care, and it wasn’t just a one-off conversation.
Plus, it is a way to ensure everything’s resolved and you’re both on the same page. A follow-up is not just responsible, but is another way to say, “I care about you and our relationship.”
Conclude with prayer
Before you both go your separate ways, why not wrap it up with a prayer? It is like putting a beautiful bow on a gift. Prayer brings us back to what is important— our relationship with God and each other.
A simple prayer can be a heartfelt “Thank you” to God for guiding the conversation or asking for continued wisdom moving forward. This is the perfect way to end on a high note and remind each other that this is about growing in faith.
Corrections are opportunities
We could turn this situation into an opportunity with a bit of prayer, honest self-reflection, and grace.
It could be our chance to deepen relationships and bring us closer to God.
Our churchmates are our families in God, and families correct each other because they care for their wellbeing.
