How to get over church pain

Have you ever been hurt by someone in the church? Not all who come to church feel blessed and renewed. Sometimes, they end up disappointed and broke because of the people in the church. 

The worst part is some people might lose their faith and connection to God because of the church members. Apostle Paul explains in 1 Timothy 5 that the church is the people who are devoted to doing whatever it takes to reach out and help others. 

But what if those who are expected to reach out and care for others are the reasons why others do not want to go back to the church?

Can you recover from your painful experience and return to church as if nothing happens?

How to Recover Church Pain

Regardless of who hurt you and made you uncomfortable in the church, you still need to get up and decide to heal for your own sake. The more you let your pain devour you, the more you allow satan to steal your joy and your excellent relationship with God and His people.

Your churchmates may be accountable for your pain, but as Christians, Jesus commanded us to forgive those who have hurt us as He forgives us for our sins. 

The church can hurt us, but we cannot give up the church. Quitting the church is not an option for Jesus’ followers.

Here are some ways to recover from your church pain.

Process the Pain With Someone Who Has a More Profound Faith

The church is a place for broken and imperfect people. But it is also a place for healing and growth. Being offended by church members or your pastor is typical, and it is acceptable to process the pain.

If one of the church members hurts you, then it is advisable to talk to your pastor directly, not with other church members. Not everyone in your church is mature enough to give you mature advice. You are allowed to get hurt, but spreading your pain to others may be caused others to be distracted too. 

Posting your pain on social media could destroy your church’s image and God’s. You cannot evangelize others to come to church and know God if they see you posting your pain from your church.

Talk and listen to someone whose faith is more profound. It could be your pastor or your elders that are mature enough not to spread your pain but to pray with you so you can handle your pain.

Remind Yourself Who God Is, Not Who the Church Is

Although the church teaches us how to act like God, we are a work in progress. Sometimes, on our journey of becoming like Jesus, we fail and stumble, which causes pain to others. 

But, whenever your churchmate fail and causes you pain, it is better to constantly remind yourself of who God is. If your church community disappoints you, it is crucial to step back for a while and remember God’s character.

God loves justice, mercy, and humility. The fruit of His spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness. 

The church may be imperfect, but you must remember the perfect God, who is why you attend church. It may be hard for you to love and keep no record of wrong.

But when you are reminded of the God who loved and washed away your sins, it will help you heal and forgive others.

Remain in God’s Word

The more you indulge yourself in God’s word, the more He will let you understand that your pain does not have to hinder you from having fellowship with His people. Draw your hope for life and healing from the teaching of the Scripture.

When we spend more time in God’s word, the more we can focus on His truth spoken in love. God will help us mature enough to recover from our grief from others who hurt us.

As you read the Bible, you will have the power to avoid the temptations of hurting others because of your pain. God will speak to you and help you find peace and forgiveness for the person who hurt you.

Rely Your Healing on Jesus, Not on Others

In reality, not all people, even in the church, would admit they are responsible for your pain unless they also pursue holiness. Some people in the church are not humble enough to ask for forgiveness. 

Even so, do not depend on them. Instead, ask Jesus to heal your heart even if the person will not ask for forgiveness.

Living with grudges does not affect the person who is not sensitive to their action. But it could destroy you who were hurt. If you would not let go of your pain and wait for the person to ask for forgiveness before you return to church, you might lose yourself and God simultaneously. 

We have to choose to begin letting Jesus heal us. It means surrendering your pain to Jesus and loving His people even if they do not accept their mistakes. 

Jesus loves the church and His people. He wants us to live together in a beautiful, albeit complicated, community. To follow His desires means to get over our pain no matter how hard it is.

You can never experience God’s abundance if you are unwilling to depend on Him to heal your heart. The devil will always salt the wound and remind you why you deserve to withdraw and stay bitter if you focus on your pain and those who hurt you.

Keep on Praying and Serving

It may be difficult to pray and serve God when you are hurt. If the wound is fresh, you cannot help but be reminded of what others did to you whenever you pray. Also, it is unavoidable to remember what they did whenever you see them serving in the church. 

For instance, someone who betrayed your trust while claiming to “pray for you” could make you uncomfortable. Also, some particulate Bible verses may have been used to manipulate you, which reminds you of your pain when you hear those passages again.

However, do not stop praying to God to heal your heart. It may take time, but while you are waiting, keep on serving Him as you fix your eyes on Jesus, not on those who broke you. 

If your church speaks the truth about Jesus and you know that God planted you in this church, then do not leave your church because of your pain. Healing is possible to God if you continue praying and serving Him.