How to put Jesus in the center of your marriage

Love is not good enough to keep your marriage working, yet when you put Jesus in the center, you can see Him working and blessing your relationship with your spouse.

Why do you need Jesus in your marriage?

Because marriage is hard work, there is no time off or vacation in marriage. Every detail is vital to make it work and healthy. 

Many people fail to understand that marriage is not just about your promises to each other but your vows in front of God.

As you say, “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer,” you are not just telling it to your husband or wife; instead, you are making a covenant with the Lord. 

More importantly, marriage is not just about the two people loving each other instead. It is more of glorifying God. 

When my husband and I decided to get married, the focus was not just on our love for each other. I was 23 and just starting my career as an English as a Second Language Teacher, and he was only 25, a very young pastor. 

During that time, I had so many fears, but since I believed that the goal of our marriage was for us to walk righteously in the eyes of the Lord, we took the courage and got married. 

Nevertheless, without Jesus as the center of our marriage, I do not think we could overcome marital problems as a young couple. 

Put Jesus in the center of your marriage

Making Jesus the center of your marriage is a work in progress and not an overnight success. Even Christian couples are having a hard time doing it. 

However, what is essential is you are willing to pursue Him as the center of your marriage.

Here are some ways to put Jesus at the center of your marriage.

Have a common faith

It is challenging to put Jesus at the center of your marriage without having the same faith. How can both of you put Jesus as the center of your relationship if one does not believe in Jesus?

Many Christians are having struggles with their spouse because they do not have the same belief in Jesus.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

The Bible says we should not have a relationship with unbelievers because there will always be a struggle in practicing your faith because of your opposite perspectives.

Pray together

Another way to put Jesus as the center of your marriage is to communicate with Him with your spouse. It feels good to plead and make our request to the Lord together. 

In addition, praying together with your spouse means having one heart and desire to ask God to bless your marriage and maintain a happy home. 

Also, it is one way to uplift your spouse. A husband tired of working for a long day would love to hear his wife encouraging him in the presence of the Lord.

Forgive just like Jesus

A Christ-centered marriage always forgives. So matter how painful it is, we should always forgive our spouse. 

In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asked Jesus how many times shall he forgive his brother or sister who sins against him, and Jesus said seventy-seven times. Does it mean forgiving endlessly? 

Is that possible when your husband cheated on you? Yes, it is, as God has forgiven us for our sins. It may not be easy, yet with Jesus as the center, it is possible, and you will not be alone in the process.

Embrace weakness

Too often, we set such high standards for our spouses that we forget to accept their weaknesses.

As a result, we tend to focus on their lackness instead of their efforts to do their best for our marriage. 

Jesus Christ accepts and embraces us for who we are, so who are we not to give the same kind of acceptance to our spouse?

On the other hand, we should also be teachable and willing to correct the things that hinder our relationship. We must also be willing to admit and accept that we need help.

Communicate 

A Christ-centered marriage is open to communication. We should know when to speak and to listen to our partner. 

Wives appreciate their husbands if they are there listening to their struggles as a mom. 

On the other hand, husbands appreciate their wives who are willing to listen to their problems in their job, for example, if they feel stagnant or rejection.

Thus, without communication, it is impossible for a marriage to work. Jesus Christ, for instance, demonstrates a very open communication with our heavenly Father. He tells Him when He is sad and in pain.

Focus on Jesus, not on your spouse

Our spouse is not perfect, but Jesus is. Sometimes it is easier to love and respect our spouse if we are focused on who Jesus is instead of who our partners are. 

Moreover, our spouse can hurt us and could even break us. But no matter how hard it could be, when you look at how Jesus has sacrificed His life for you, you can give sacrificial love.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.

More so, “love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

“Love never fails.”  We can’t do all these things to our spouse, but with Jesus, we can do everything.

Be a part of a church community

To make Jesus the center of your marriage, you need a community of Believers to help you. The Church is one of the best places to learn more about how you could cultivate your marriage and your home.

Additionally, many church activities could help you to become a better parent and spouse. It could be an excellent opportunity to have a support group while growing deeper in your faith.

Enjoy your marriage

Some people may think that a Christ-centered marriage is all about obeying God’s command. 

They think that it is no fun doing God’s will. But, when you follow God and please Him, you will learn to enjoy your relationship with your spouse more than what the world could offer. 

Making Jesus the center of your marriage would give you peace and security that God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

Therefore, you do not have any reason not to enjoy your relationship. Enjoy loving and caring for each other. After all, you have made a lifetime covenant with each other, so why not have fun being together.

Continue to study your spouse

Marriage is a lifetime school of learning. You will discover more qualities of your spouse and appreciate them more when you continue to study them.

Do not stop learning about their likes, dislikes, and favorite things to do. It will help you to know how to express your love for your partner if you continue to discover more things about them. 

Jesus Christ knew His Father well, and it helped Him trust God. The same is true with our spouse, the more we know him or her, the more we can trust them.