Is it helpful to compare your life with others’ lives?

Why do they have a better life than mine? 

Comparing ourselves to others is one of the everyday struggles we face regardless of whether we are Christians. You may find yourself fighting with your thoughts when you see others who seem “more blessed, talented, or gifted” than you. 

Besides, some people are comparing their marriage, church, or life to others around them. 

Whenever we do this, we ask ourselves why we do not have what they have. Then we would start complaining about what we have. 

Additionally, social media has become a pathway for people to compare their lives to others. For instance, when you see your friends traveling and having a good time while you are there at home taking care of your kids. 

Thus, the negative impact of comparing ourselves to others outweighs its benefits. 

Dangers of comparing our life with others

When we compare ourselves to others, it drives our behavior and mindset about life. If we cannot handle comparison well, it could lead us to destruction.

Here are some possible dangers of comparison between you and others. 

Reason of unhappiness

Those who compare their lives to others are mostly unhappy with what they have. You check how lucky others are with their job, relationship, and wealthy life. 

Yet. you forgot that you have a lot of things to be thankful for, like good health and peace. 

Moreover, the more we focus on the blessings of others, the lesser we appreciate the things we should be thankful for. 

Instead of waking up being thankful for another life, you would start complaining about another day of grinding. You would not have contentment and peace of mind with what you have. 

Beginning of jealousy

Jealousy is a very harmful behavior. Many people can do unimaginable things when they are jealous. They could start being manipulative to get what they want.

It brings nothing but harm to you and even to the people around you. 

When comparison results in jealousy, you will do everything to bring the person down. You would do things that could cause them harm and lose what they have. 

Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” 

An envious spirit only leads us to hurt other people and even ourselves. 

Always seeking other’s approval

If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will likely seek others’ validation. It is always tiring to seek others’ approval. 

You will never find your true identity if you always depend on the opinions of others. Also, you may rely on your happiness and self-worth from their validation.

Fuels insecurities

Comparing ourselves to others results in the nagging feeling of not being good enough, seeking validation from others, inadequacy, and envy. 

It would lead you to more insecurities about yourself and what you are capable of.

You will never feel good enough if you base it on other people’s achievements. You can never love yourself if you depend on others’ opinions and actions. 

Additionally, you can never be genuinely happy with other people’s success when you feel insecure. You always want to be better than them and have more than them.

How to avoid getting trapped by comparison

Focus on your progress

The Bible does not turn to the left or the right and focuses on your walk to achieve your goal. The more you concentrate on your journey, the more you will appreciate all your small or big achievements. 

Furthermore, successful people achieve their goals because their eyes are fixed on the prize. We cannot compare our processes, burdens, and battles with someone else perks, promises, and blessings. 

In addition, if you compare your progress, you can appreciate how strong you have become from all the struggles you have been through. 

Guard your mind

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” - Colossians 3:32

If we focused on the things here on earth, we would complain because we cannot have it all. There will always be something that others have that you do not have. It could be wealth, talent, career, family, and more. 

However, if we set our minds on the above things, even if we are not the wealthiest person here on earth, we could be the happiest because we know that treasures in heaven are more worth having than material things.

Moreover, when we guard our minds, we are careful not to be trapped in comparison and hurt others.

Focus on your strength

We all have our strengths and uniqueness. Instead of checking out the strengths of others, why not look at yourself and realize what you can do best?

Are you good at singing, writing, and communicating with others? Celebrate your strength and be proud of it. It is not being arrogant when you appreciate what you can do best. 

It is about being grateful that God has given you that kind of gift. 

God is never unfair in all His creation. He created us uniquely with our unique gifts. It is just a matter of how we treasure and use those gifts. 

Imperfection is okay

We can never be perfect, so stop comparing your life to others thinking they have an ideal life. We all have failures and imperfections, and these things should not be our reason to compare ourselves to others. 

Your imperfections are what make you who you are. Even God accepts your weaknesses and flaws. He used imperfect people for a great mission. 

For instance, Moses was not good at communicating, but God used Him to save His people in Egypt. 

Allow God to use you in your imperfection, and you will see how God can make great things through you. 

Learn to be satisfied

You will never be satisfied if you always want to have what others have. God is so good at blessing you with what He thinks you need for now. 

There are many reasons to be thankful for in your life. The more you appreciate them, the more you will be contented. 

You can be thankful for your home because having one is a privilege. 

Besides, you can be thankful for your job because you know it is difficult to find one.

People always have to choose to count their blessings and not the gifts of others. 

You might never know their struggles and sufferings, so we should not compare our lives with theirs. 

Use other’s success as an inspiration

Rather than comparing yourself to others and feeling insecure, use their success as your motivation to improve your life. Be happy with their progress because you do not know what they have to sacrifice to reach their success. 

Then, you can use their story to face your journey in achieving your goals in life. Making them your inspiration is not a comparison of who is better. 

It is more about learning from their stories to help you fight your battle.

Do not feel bad if others celebrate their success because they deserve that. You can ask them how they did it and try if it works for you. 

Be confident that God has a plan for you

God has a beautiful plan for you, even before He formed you in your mother’s womb. Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

He was telling this verse to Jeremiah, and if He has a plan for him, God also has a unique plan for all of us. So, we have nothing to compare with others since we are all unique in God’s eyes.