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To give you another taste of my women’s Bible study on the women of the Bible, I’m including here Lesson 10 about Martha and Mary on the topic of “Practicing God’s Presence.”

Here is the Table of Contents for “Choices of the Heart.” CLICK HERE to check it out on Amazon.

Rebekah and Rahab: Believing God’s Sovereignty
Job’s Wife and the Woman of Shunem: Trusting God’s Goodness
Jezebel and Deborah: Using God’s Power and Influence
Naomi and the Syrophoenician Woman: Praying Powerfully
Gomer and the Forgiven Woman: Taking Hold of Forgiveness
Sarah and Lydia: Obeying God’s Plan
Sapphira and the Samaritan Woman: Choosing Honesty
Bathsheba and Hannah: Dealing with Temptation
Miriam and Leah: Struggling with Jealousy and Discontent
Martha and Mary: Practicing God’s Presence

Now, here’s Lesson 10 on Martha and Mary

Life is a challenge. We long for peace and knowing God is helping us and is with us. But we’re so easily distracted by responsibilities, problems, and people. Sometimes we think we’ll only be at peace when we’re in a “quiet time” or some other spiritual activity. It may seem those spiritual times are the only way to sense God’s presence. Or those moments are when God is most pleased with us—when we’re doing something “super spiritual.”

But the truth is God promises to be with us every moment regardless of whether we sense him and regardless of what we’re doing. We can “practice the presence of God” whether we’re diapering our baby or driving the carpool or leading a high-stress corporate meeting. God is with us, and everything we do in obedience to him is serving him. Not just the seemingly “spiritual” activities.

Yet we can still judge ourselves inadequate in the “spiritual” department if we compare ourselves to others. Some women just seem to have a natural bent toward being aware of God’s presence and easily choose to have a set-apart spiritual time. Others of us struggle. We’re too hyper. We have too much to do. We can’t concentrate. There always seems to be so many obstacles.

Describe when and how you feel most harried about life, most calm, and most “”
Is serving others, especially visitors, a source of stress or joy for you?

The sisters, Martha and Mary, who are close friends to Jesus, can relate. They seem to have opposite personalities and preferences. We can learn from them about how to incorporate spirituality with service and every aspect of life.

Martha and Mary

Focus on Luke 10:38-42 for the following questions. Also, read John 11:1-44 and John 12:1-3 for background information. What basic and opposite personality traits do Martha and Mary have?
What kind of attitude is exposed in Martha’s question?
How was Mary insensitive to Martha’s concerns?

Knowing the differences in personalities can enhance relationships. There are numerous ways to identify personality or temperaments, but a basic one separates them into four categories. Here are a few generalities about those four:

Expressive: highly values fun, is talkative, and loves a lot of time with people.
Driver: highly values control, likes to “tell” people what to do rather than ask questions, and believes his/her decisions are always right.
Amiable: highly values peace at any cost, is an effective mediator, is quiet, and sees the positive in everyone and everything.
Analytical: highly values perfection, is detail oriented and a great organizer but second-guesses decisions.

If we don’t understand God created different personalities for his purposes, we can easily:

judge ourselves less than or the opposite, superior.
be discontent with our own personality, because another personality seems more attractive or useful.
intensely hate our personality’s weaknesses and think “God made junk.”
judge another personality as inferior.

We must remember each of these temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. God intended the strengths to be used to serve him and the weaknesses to cause us to need him. We might not always appreciate God’s design, but he knew exactly his purposes in creating you.

How does Psalm 139:1-6, 13-16 confirm those truths?
Why do you think Martha talks to Jesus rather than talking directly to Mary to assist her with the food (Luke 10:40)?
Why do you think they had trouble communicating?
What would have been a constructive way to solve this problem?

There can be all sorts of blocks to good communication, and sometimes women have even more difficulty than men. Men, generally speaking, prefer to state the facts and not get emotionally involved. But women crave relationship, and if a friend seems to indicate the relationship is not important by not communicating, she can take offense and avoid or reject contact. Plus, each temperament communicates in a different way. Martha and Mary are definitely struggling in their relationship, and the stress of hosting Jesus, whom they want to please, creates more tension.

Do you relate more to Martha or Mary?
What can you imagine Jesus would have said to each of them? What advice would you give them?
What did Jesus actually say about Martha’s activity (Luke 10:41)?
What distracts and worries you in the following areas?

Area	Distracted because:	Worried about:
Hospitality:
Extended family:
Friendships:
Ministry to others:
Children:
Husband/Boyfriend:

What do you think Jesus meant by “but only one thing is necessary” (Luke 10:42)?

When Jesus said, But only one thing is necessary, one possible meaning could be: Prepare one dish instead of many. Come listen to me. If true, he may have been suggesting her expectations are too high, and she is trying to perform for him instead of receiving his unconditional love. Of course, we are going to serve Jesus out of love for him, but maybe her motives included believing if she didn’t perform he wouldn’t love her. Or maybe she wants to look like a good hostess before others. Those impure motives are what feed anger, discontent, and contentiousness. Obviously, her priorities are out of kilter.

We can do the same thing if we believe service always equals or communicates love. Whether for God or for others, we must know what the other person values. Jesus values her presence more than lots to eat.

If you were to focus more fully on Jesus’ perspective, would there need to be any changes in your attitude, worry, or distractions?
What insight into Jesus’ attitude toward women do you gain from Jesus’ encouraging these two women to spend time in his presence?

In their culture, women were only servants. They weren’t supposed to be with the men at all. But Jesus upset the cultural norms over and over again, valuing women just as much as men.

Do you hear a harsh rebuke or a gentle suggestion in Jesus’ reply to Martha (Luke 10:41-42)?
Do you most often hear God’s “voice” as rebuking or wooing?

How we hear God’s voice in our hearts can indicate a lot. Maybe we were scolded more than praised. Maybe we grew up thinking we didn’t deserve any praise, and we only expected to be reprimanded and not acknowledged for our efforts. Maybe currently we’re in a hurtful or damaging relationship.

You might want to “try out” different tones as you speak Jesus’ words aloud. What emotion does a soft and encouraging tone bring up inside you? Also, try to say Jesus’ words with different words to communicate several possible meanings. Jesus is saying, Oh, sweetie, please don’t worry about making a lot. We’ll be full after one of your delicious dishes. I’d rather you chose being at my feet like your sis has. Come and join us now. I love you even if we starve in your house.

Do you think Jesus is saying Martha is wrong to serve or women shouldn’t have company over? Explain your answer.
What did Jesus say is the better choice?
What benefits do you suppose Mary experiences at the feet of Jesus?
What good qualities do you see in Martha?
In Mary?
Which would you like to incorporate into your life from each woman?
Focus on John 11:1-44 for the following questions. What kind of faith and dependence upon Jesus is demonstrated in the sisters’ message to Jesus (v. 3)?
What actions do Martha and Mary each take (v. 20)?
Are these compatible with their personalities?
Martha is assertive in talking to Jesus—to the point she almost seems to be rebuking him. Yet how is her faith also revealed (vv. 21-22)?
Who does Martha believe Jesus to be (v. 27)?
If Jesus asked you the same question of verses 25 and 26, how would you answer?

Mary’s words to Jesus are the same as her sister’s initial response (v. 32). They regard Jesus as both Messiah and as a friend with whom they can be honest in the sharing of their grief. Why do you think Jesus had to give a direct invitation to prompt Mary to come see him (vv. 28-31)?

Throughout the Gospels, we often see Christ involving others in miracles. How does Jesus involve others in the making of this miracle (v. 39), and what do you think was his motive?

Jesus is not only a good teacher—he is an effective mentor. Stories abound in the Gospels about how he delegates responsibilities to others as a means of training and coaching them. He invites disciples and followers to stretch beyond their own skills or confidence so they depend upon his confidence and his power in them.

Even now, he is doing the same thing in our lives when he opens doors we don’t feel we have enough faith to open, or are qualified or knowledgeable enough to handle. There can be any number of blocks and obstacles whispering lies and saying the Holy Spirit can’t be strong enough in us to overcome. We can instead trust if he assigns us a task or responsibility, he empowers us to fulfill his desire. He’s not ignorant of our inadequacies and weaknesses. Instead, he has every confidence his power in us is sufficient.

Jesus indicates the sisters still don’t believe fully what he can do, yet he fulfills his plan anyway (John 11:40). When your faith is weak, how is Jesus’ response meaningful?
With three words, Christ raises Lazarus from the dead. How do you imagine Martha and Mary feel as they see Lazarus walk toward them, most likely with a huge smile?

Have you ever had similar feelings after seeing God solve a problem in your life or do something you couldn’t have imagined or designed? Describe what happened.

Focus on John 12:1-3. This passage shows a scene similar to the one in Luke 10:38-42: Martha is serving, and Mary is at Jesus’ This time, though, there is something missing from the previous incident. Describe.
What changes do you think have occurred in Martha’s heart, maybe as a result of seeing what Jesus did for them?
What lessons do you learn from Martha and Mary about finding a connection in your life between the practical and the spiritual?
How can you practice God’s presence while accomplishing God’s work?

My Precious Princess and Daughter:

I know your life is hectic. My Son faced the human obsession of busyness when he lived on earth. I didn’t originally design life to be full of unfulfilled expectations and hurried running around. The garden of Eden’s atmosphere was peaceful beyond belief.

But now, you face this problem, my Daughter. Whether through other people’s demands or the ones you put on yourself, life seems like a treadmill run at high speed. Maybe even a rollercoaster.

I want to assure you your activity doesn’t make you look better in my eyes. I love you without question and accept you as my own, regardless of your accomplishments—or lack of them. Yes, I do have specific things for you to accomplish, but they do not make me love you more. I already love you as much as I possibly can.

Whatever the pace of your life, turn to me at any time. I am available every single moment. Call out to me and ask for my help, comfort, wisdom, or anything you need. You don’t need to have a formal quiet time to know I’m with you. I am with you constantly, and I promise never to forsake you or leave you.

Succeed in my Spirit’s power, but take time first to confirm I’ve called you to an opportunity. Fulfill my plans with a pure heart of wanting my glory. Your choices must come from your heart.