Marriage Advice Your Mom Never Gave You, Day 1 — GRITANDFAVOR.COM
Jesus First. Husband second. Children third.
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Just as in life, marriage demands a certain order. If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you know Christ should come first in our lives. Your relationship with Jesus must be number one. Time in prayer, time in the word, and time gathered with other believers in corporate worship. Even if your spouse doesn’t agree. Even if getting to church is too hard with the littles in tow. Even if you can barely snag a moment alone. You must maintain your first love!
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While we understand the need to connect with our Father, things often get twisted inside our household. Wives, we must nurture our relationship with our husband with great priority. Second only to the Father! We can see from the life of Jesus that his first priority was to obey God and his second was to care for the Church. Scripture compares marriage to a picture of Jesus and the Church. That would stand to reason that God sees great value in a marriage that glorifies Him.
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I can’t pretend this is easy. Generally, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and I have never met a child that doesn’t squeak! Keeping your marriage a priority requires making an intentional effort to prioritize your time, thoughts, and even your actions. Weekly dates are a fun way to connect but that can seem impossible in some seasons of life. Let me free you of the idea that you must dress up and eat at a fancy restaurant to have a date. It doesn’t have to cost money. It could simply mean just turning off the TV for 1 hour of connection. Maybe it’s time to get those kiddos out of your bed and back in their rooms. Sleeping next to your spouse has a way of nurturing intimacy significantly better than a set of toddler’s feet to the back. “Dating” your spouse is more about salvaging each free moment for a deep connection. Put down your phones or the gaming controllers and talk, or make-out… or whatever fun things married adults do together.
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When you love the Lord first and nurture your marriage second, the obvious sequence is to care for your children and lead them in the ways of the Lord. Think about it like an airplane, when a crisis occurs they instruct you to put your oxygen mask on first. Only when you have what you need, are you able to help those around you. You will be a better mother by being a more connected wife, and you will be a better wife by being a more devoted Christ-follower. Getting any of these out of order causes unnecessary strife.
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READ THESE: Deuteronomy 6:5, Ephesians 5:22-24, Proverbs 22:6
