MENTAL HEALTH MONDAYS: How to Have Tough Conversations With Teens - The DV Walking Wounded:

Sometimes teenagers aren’t given enough credit. They’re smart and, with the proper knowledge, they can make informed decisions just like any adult. The trick is having the wisdom to know when your teenager is ready to learn certain lessons.

Talking To Young Adults

It’s easy to forget that you shouldn’t treat teenagers like children. When you eye their every move and talk down to them, you’ll eventually lose their trust. When you allow them to be themselves and, at the same time, nurture them when they need it, they’re more likely to open up to you.

One reason why conversations with teenagers can be so difficult is because it’s challenging to walk that fine line between treating them like an adult, while still exerting some parental control. It’s also tough to watch your children make mistakes that you think you could’ve prevented. The only thing you can really do is give them advice when they are open to it.

These tips may help you strike a good conversation with your teen:

• Make an extra effort to talk to them, but don’t push the issue. It’s normal for a teenager to withdraw from communication from time to time.
• As long as you have no reason to be suspicious of them, you should respect their privacy.
• You can wait to have certain conversations with them until they’re ready, but on the other hand, you don’t want to wait too long.

Talking About Sex

Sex is a topic that you may naturally feel awkward talking about, no matter who you’re having a conversation with. With your own teen, it can be especially tough to have an open and honest talk.

Chances are they already know a great deal about this topic. However, if they ask you questions, be honest with your answers. It’s actually better for them to be getting information from you. You’ll know that what you’re providing is accurate, and you’ll be building a lasting relationship with your teen that will grow into adulthood. Be sure to use appropriate names for body parts, instead of cute pet names for them — your children will be more likely to pay attention and know that you’re serious and formal about this topic. Also going over consent, regardless if you have a son or daughter, warrants approaching, as does “safe sex.” Let them know that you do not want them to have sex, but if they happen to, you want them to be safe. Encouraging them to wait, is worth the conversation.

While there are certainly differing opinions on the subject, try to get your perspective across without being judgmental. Home cameras in common areas (ie living room, kitchen, etc.) can help allay any fears about guests and situations when you are not there. These cameras, once hooked up to your personal Internet wi-fi, can then be viewed by you on your mobile device. Having a doorbell camera or a cam over your garage may assist with feeling secure, might also be prudent.

Talking About Drugs

The topic of drugs is another important one. It’s best to be educated early on this topic. Children should be taught to avoid drugs, so it’s certainly a topic you should bring up with your teenagers from time to time. It may even be good to setup scenarios, with both parties coming up with acceptable excuses for not imbibing.

If you’re involved in your teen’s life and have no reason to believe they’d be involved with drugs, you probably have nothing to worry about. It helps to know their friends and their friends’ parents, as well as their schedules and whereabouts. However, if your teen acts withdrawn and you don’t know their friends very well, there might be a problem. Also, if you have to be gone from home quite a bit and they are at home by themselves, be cautious. Boredom can be a strange reason to try drugs, but is STILL is a viable reason. It is also very effective to review their social media regularly. Having them dock their devices (laptops, cell phones, tablets, etc.) is also helpful. There are also services that shut down Internet access between certain times, as the teens might get more and more defiant the older they become.

Trust your instincts. If you think something’s up, then strive to be more involved. You may be dealing with a tough situation and, therefore, you should make the extra effort to discuss the issue with your teen.

Trusting Your Teen

It all comes down to the issue of trust. Remember that trust is a two way street. If you maintain a good level of trust with your teen, they’ll feel comfortable having conversations with you. This will hold true even if it’s one of the tougher conversations. Just make sure you remain open to your teen, and they’ll come to you for advice. Let them know while you might be upset by upsetting information, you’re a safe person for them to come to, so you all can fix any situation together!