Painful Providence

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“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” – Genesis 50:20

God’s providence made my blood boil as I screamed at Him, “I don’t want your grace! I want this baby.” But God knew I was His little tantrum-throwing toddler, and He loved me despite my wrath. Yes, when we hurt and God doesn’t seem to be helping, we can get angry. We live in a world ravaged by sin. As a result, God’s good and perfect will—God’s providence—doesn’t always seem perfect. And it’s rarely painless.

I wonder if Joseph ever felt angry with his brothers or God. Joseph experienced painful providence. He was the favorite of Jacob’s 12 sons. But the jealousy of his ten older brothers cost him his freedom and nearly cost him his life. They sold him into slavery. In Egypt, Joseph experienced servitude and imprisonment. That was God’s will for him.

People we love die before we’re ready to say goodbye. Tragic accidents maim and kill. Abusers and pedophiles go unpunished and we ask, “Why?” Sometimes, we rage with accusations against the Lord, “If You control all things, then why did You let this happen to me?”

If you’re angry with God today because His sovereign hand has dealt you a hard blow, it’s OK to rail against Him. I repeat. It’s. Okay! God is a patient Father, tender and kind. He doesn’t need you to like His plan. He’s still good, and eventually you’ll discover His goodness again. Really. I promise.

Had God stopped my miscarriage, the timing would have prevented me from conceiving my daughter Rachel. She wouldn’t have married Niall, my dear son-in-love. And seven of my favorite people wouldn’t exist. While the accounts of Joseph and my miscarriage allow us to see the goodness of God’s providence, not all painful circumstances have happy endings.

God understands the anger of broken hearts and grieving souls. Providence feels cruel at times. Just ask Jesus how it felt to be nailed to a Roman cross. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus cried in anguish.

Jesus knew what Joseph and I eventually discovered: the providential suffering of God’s children isn’t about them. God’s sovereign plans serve a greater good. The loss of our first two pregnancies taught my husband and me how to comfort others who’ve experienced similar loss. Many have received help through our hurt. Joseph saved many people during a severe famine. And Jesus saved the entire world from sin and death.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Do you ever struggle to believe God is good when things are bad?

2. In what ways have you witnessed that the providence of God is better than your plans?