Repenteance first is how godly forgiveness has always worked! - Divorce Minister

 

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

-2 Chronicles 7:14, KJV

This is not rocket science. The Bible clearly teaches an important connection between repentance and forgiveness. You cannot have one without the other and have truly godly forgiveness.

God is not deficient morally for requiring that we repent (or turn from our sins) before He forgives us.

This part of forgiveness is often missed in the weaponizing of “forgiveness” to manipulate faithful spouses. The repentance part is ignored. That is not the forgiveness God is offering here in 2 Chronicles 7:14.

It is not morally deficient to leave the matter unforgiven in the case of a sinner unwilling to turn from their wickedness.*

I think this makes a lot of sense. How can you forgive fast enough if the person is still actively “digging” their sin hole? They have to put the “shovel” down first before that “hole” can be addressed.

God does not offer forgiveness without repentance.

I think that is just another way of saying the spiritual law of forgiveness does not work without the offender choosing life over deadly sin. It is not about rights to hold grudges but rather an honest assessment about how the moral universe operates.

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*Now, I do not think it is wise to care anger and bitterness towards the cheater for as long as they refuse to repent. The wise part is to give them to God for Him to judge their repentance and move on with one’s life. (This might take deciding multiple times as deep wounds don’t heal instantaneously.)