Returning a victim to an abuser who enjoys abusing them. - Divorce Minister
I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. -Acts 20:29, NIV
What amazes me about the usual advice given to faithful spouses is how the advice ignores the abuse dynamic inherently involved in every situation where adultery has occurred.
What’s the “usual advice?”
You got to “fight for her/him” or stated in other ways: “You got to fight for your marriage.”
The insanity of this advice is apparent when cast in the light of dealing with an abusive individual. Cheaters are abusive, by the way.
Does any sane and godly Christian or pastor press a battered wife to pursue her abuser while he is remorseless and unrepentant about the abuse?
If they do, they are putting the battered wife back into a dangerous situation. That is not a godly or wise response to such a situation.
The same goes for adultery scenarios.
It is dangerous to encourage a faithful spouse to return to an unrepentant cheater. While the unrepentant cheater might not physically hit the faithful spouse, I assure you the emotional and spiritual devastation is much worse.
Plus, an unrepentant cheater has demonstrated a willingness–by their own actions–to put the physical health of their spouse at risk engaging in likely unsafe sexual practice(s).
Finally, the cheater engaged in the infidelity because he or she enjoys it.
The simple conclusion about their refusal to repentant suggests that they enjoy this wicked behavior more than stopping the abuse to their spouse’s soul (see post here). Do you really think it is wise to return a victim into that sort of setting?
Do not fight over or for an unrepentant cheater. That is as sane as fighting over the “privilege” of getting punched in the face again by an abuser who is more than happy to keep dispensing sucker-punches.
