“Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

-Matthew 7:5, NLT

They will dredge up the tiniest things and blow them up to catastrophic proportions to make the faithful spouse look like the aggressor. It is sickening, actually.

A temptation is to engage them in behavior–i.e. to correct them. But why bother?!

They are telling you how sorry they are by doing this–i.e. not sorry at all. Their are in full blown damage control. They want to control the narrative of what happened.

The last thing such Cheaters want is their cheating taking center stage in the story of your marriage’s demise.

The funny thing about truth is that endures even past the wishes of Cheaters. They can want to hide the truth about how the adultery blew up the marriage, but it does not make it any less true.

If you are having these conversations with the hope of restoring the marriage, then you are wasting your time. Your Cheater is trying to shift blame and avoid accountability. This is not repentant behavior.

This is not about whether or not you have faults. We all have faults. But we all do NOT cheat, because our spouse has faults! The cheating is the primary sin problem.