The Art of Adulting — Colorfull Bloom

I remember having a conversation with a friend a long time ago about how much extra time we would have in our lives if eating and sleeping weren’t things we had to do to stay alive. Have you ever thought about that? How much time we’d get back in our day? We’d get at least five more hours and that’s lowballing it! Think of all the things you could get done. Even now, more than ten years later, I still think about that conversation. It makes me laugh because I was still in college (don’t ask), still living at home (don’t hate) and more than likely my biggest care in the world at that time were my plans for the weekend. If time was an issue when I was single and living at home, I wonder what I would’ve done with more time back then, even if I had it. Would I have stewarded it well? Extra time causes us to focus on what’s important to us—or even more so, what’s not. Eesh.

Whenever time comes up as a problematic issue, what’s really happening is we lose focus on what our real priorities are, but mask them as “time issues”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said the words, “Oh, I don’t have time for _____.” When most of the time, if I’m being honest, I’d rather get on social media or watch something on Netflix. It’s just easier, frankly, and a lot more fun than prioritizing my time in order for me to focus on the things I really want to do. I understand we all have to decompress sometimes, but there’s a balance to everything. Only you know if the scale is weighing heavier on one side than the other. I’ve had to learn (and still learning) how to consciously pay attention to what I’m giving my time to because it doesn’t come natural for me. Like not at all. I get distracted easily and being able to focus on one task at a time just ain’t a gift the Lord gave this gal. Squirrel! To move out of the repetitious coasting we’ve gotten accustomed to, we have to ask ourselves some tough questions and be real with ourselves when we answer them. What’s important to me in this season of my life right now? Is there anything I need to move from the front burner to the back so I can create the space to do what I want, or at least start making baby steps in getting there? And while we’re on the subject, baby steps are ok! Okay? Everyone loves a baby. Babies are adorable. Have some grace for yourself, baby. We don’t learn to walk without taking a first step and you can’t take steps without standing up and you can’t stand up without pulling up and you can’t pull up without crawling and… Ok, you get the point. Every step is important. And when we fall, we get back up and we try again. Just today I heard Joyce Meyer say, “If at first you don’t succeed, you are normal.”

Throughout my life, I’ve found myself thinking or hoping for things I want and I hate to admit it, but a lot of the time those “wants” never make it out of the incubation stage in my brain. They’ll bounce around up there for awhile, maybe in a daydream or two and sure enough they lie dormant long enough and eventually die. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but it’s true. Some of our wants are pretty big things and some of them may be small things. Regardless, each one of them is significant. If there’s something you’ve wanted to do and just can’t shake, go after it! Step out. Have faith. What’s that one thing you’ve wanted to do for awhile, but didn’t take those next steps to see it through? Whatever it is is, give birth to that baby. You’ve been pregnant with that idea long enough. That baby is now three years old and your body look crazy! Push. PUSH!

So I had a pinched nerve in my neck several years ago which also messed up my shoulder. Ever since then my shoulder has been less than 100% in the way I can use it. So I need to be careful and watch my movements so I don’t aggravate it again. Long story short, I re-aggravated it last fall. I was so angry. I saw a chiropractor for two months. It was inconvenient and annoying and painful. After my sessions were over I was so relieved I was feeling better. I remember thinking to myself man, I really hope that doesn’t happen again. I thought that for several days. Hoping it didn’t happen again. Then I came to a realization. I decided I am not just gonna be hopeful, here. No! I am determined to do what I can to help prevent it! You get to a place where enough is enough already and you’re tired of being hurt. So I started stretching to keep my muscles loose. To get myself to daily stretch may sound like a silly example, but for me it was a big baby step. I wasn’t going to keep doing the same things I did in the past in order to achieve different results. Spoiler alert: that method doesn’t work.

Regardless of what it is we want to achieve, we have to 1) know what we want—not what society wants, not what our friends or our families want and 2) create the space for yourself to get there. I kind of liken it to a chess board. The idea is to win by conquering a goal, but we can’t do it all in one move. It’s a series of thoughtful moves. We have to arrange the pieces on our board and be strategic. We must be willing to sacrifice some pieces, to be patient in moving one piece before we can move another. What is it that you wanna do this year? It’s 2020, man! A new decade. I’m trying to take better care of my body, stretching and eating better. And I want to be more consistent with my writing. What do you want to do differently this year than you did in 2019? Stay consistent with your exercise? Organize your house? See family more often? Be more intentional with your communication? Have more date nights with our spouse? It doesn’t have to be this extravagant life-altering thing, or maybe it is. Baby steps, remember? I saw a Christine Caine quote last week that has not left my brain. “This year will be more of the same of last year unless you make some decisions to intentionally disrupt your patterns.” So, let’s do this! What’s on your intentionally disrupt list? Let me know!