The Privileged Life: The Sisterhood of Faith—Making Friends
“A [woman] who has friends must [herself] be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a [sister].” (Proverbs 18:24)
I dearly love my friends. I’ve never had a sister, but I’ve been blessed with wonderful sisters-in-law and many beloved “sisters” in Christ. They’re amazing…especially in tolerating my weirdness as a writer!
Making and keeping friends gets a lot harder as we grow older. School “BFFs” get married, move away, have kids. Some stay home, others get jobs and move up in their careers. Wherever God places us, we stay constantly busy in the chaotic frenzy of daily life.
Yet friendship for women isn’t just a nicety. It’s a necessity. To stay sane in an increasingly crazier world, we need good friends…true friends…with friendships built on faith in Christ.
We need the kind of friends described in The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis as the ones who meet us and surprise us with kinship: “The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one….’ When two such persons discover one another, when whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumbling or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision—it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.”1
God has programmed us women to reach out to other women when we need help or simply want companionship. Our female friends offer a deeper level of friendship than what men are typically able to fulfill. Other women understand what we’re going through because they identify with it all the way down to their cellular level—it’s in our DNA.
Anne Shirley, the main character in Anne of Green Gables, longs for a “bosom” friend…“an intimate friend, you know—a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my innermost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life.”2
Anne eventually finds her best friend in Diana Barry. When Diana marries early, the two young women remain extraordinarily devoted to each other, and Anne shares in the wonder and miracle of motherhood when Diana has her first son.
Biblical friendships were close-knit, too, like those between daughter-in-law Ruth with her mother-in-law Naomi, between King David and Jonathan, and between cousins Mary and Elizabeth. These relationships were marked by intense loyalty, sacrifice, and long-term commitment. They were bound together for life.
Such friendships seem archaic today. We hardly have time to pick up the phone and call, much less run out to lunch or meet at the park—without making a very serious effort. It’s much easier to just pull up your friends in online social media and visit each other’s “perfect lives” over a satellite. We rarely meet face-to-face even with friends who live within a mile of us.
But when you hit a wall from some problem that seems insurmountable…a conflict in your family…a defeat or failure at work…something you can’t discuss with your spouse…a careless comment that hurt you deeply…where do you run for help?
Certainly, we need to go first to Jesus in prayer. The Proverbs verse at the beginning of this blog is often said to describe our Savior, the One who would come as the “Friend” who sticks with us. He is always ready to listen, and His Holy Spirit comforts us.
As our heavenly Friend, He is also the one who provides us with friends. But as with other good gifts from our Heavenly Father, we have to open our hearts to receive them. God provides because He knows we need trustworthy friends to help us get through tough times.
If you haven’t developed a close circle of Christian friends—women you can trust—it’s time to reach out. Your best bet is to start at your church home or in a group of Christian women in your area, such as a community Bible study.
Open your schedule to invite someone into your home or to have a sandwich together in the park. Don’t be discouraged by calendar conflicts or rebuffs. Pray for opportunities.
If you have Christian friends who live miles away or in another country, communicate by email or video time. Set appointments that work for both of your calendars, to meet online for conversations.
Look for mature believers, too—especially older women you respect, who have the potential to pour their lives into yours. Listen to their advice, and look for ways to offer friendship to them in return. It’s a wonderful blessing to have friends of all ages. You can be great allies together as women of faith, regardless of your social status or life situation.
Persevere in finding new Christian friends. It will take a great deal of effort on your part, but the rewards are so worth it. Is there someone you can befriend today? Look for a new “jewel friend” in your path!
Jesus, thank You for being my best Friend, Counselor, Savior. Please help me reach out to others around me and cultivate friendships rooted in faith in You. Show me daily how to be sacrificial, too, in befriending others—so that I may meet their needs for encouragement and support, even as they help me. Help me find friends who are wise, prudent, sincere, and uplifting. To that end, please fill my heart and soul with the wonderful fruits of Your Holy Spirit. As I listen to Your promptings, give me words of sweetness that will speak comfort over my friends and build them up. Bless me always with Your presence and guidance as I seek to serve You. In Your name, Amen.
Nancy C. Williams is a Christian wife/mom with a writing career spanning more than 40 years in business and journalism. Williams is the author of the novel To Love a Falcon and the devotional book A Crocus in the Desert: Devotions, Stories, and Prayers for Women Experiencing Infertility (this blog is adapted from one of the chapters). Her blogs are featured on Crossmap.com and Arise Daily. To follow Nancy’s posts and news, go to her home page at http://lightbournecreative.comand subscribe at the bottom.
© Copyright 2024 Nancy C. Williams, Lightbourne Creative (text and photography) Unless otherwise noted, Scripture verses are taken from the New King James Version®, Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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1C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1960), pp. 96-97.
2L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (London: George G. Harrap & Co., Ltd., 1950), p. 53.
