The Question Beneath Every Question: Do I Matter?

Photo image courtesy Pixabay

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! – 1 John 3:1 (NIV)

Do you matter?

Not because someone told you that you don't, but because your own thoughts won't stop telling you that you're not enough.

We all have an inner narrator. Sometimes that voice tells us we're failing, forgotten, or insignificant. Left unchallenged, those thoughts begin to sound like truth. Spiritual maturity isn't believing everything you think. Your brain chatters, mostly chatters regurgitated stuff. This is why you must guard what goes into your brain.

Can you learn to recognize which voices sound like God and which ones don't?

Because you matter.

I learned this from Richard Beck and my chattering brain clung to this as truth:

“Mattering means your life matters, no matter what. Importantly, mattering isn’t earned. Mattering is given. Mattering is an existential fact of your existence, a value that cannot be lost or eclipsed. This unconditional value stabilizes the ego, extracting it from the successes and failures of our hero game. With mattering, you don’t have to exhaust yourself at the bike pump of self-esteem, laboring to inflate your life with value and significance. You are already worthy.” –Richard Beck, The Shape of Joy, p. 86

Worthiness is your birthright. You don't earn it. You don't achieve it. Something outside of you declares your worth.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1, NIV)

This has been called transcendence. Science does study transcendence, but science doesn't define transcendence as "God declaring our worth." Science describes the experience of moving beyond self-focus.

As Christians, we know where that worth comes from. It comes from a personal God who knows your name, not from an indifferent universe. Your value isn't determined by your accomplishments, your failures, or your self-talk. It is rooted in the everlasting larger story of God who created you in his image and calls you His own. Your value was settled at the Cross.

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.’ (Isaiah 43:1, NLT)

Transcendence reminds us that our worth isn't something we manufacture or earn; it is something we receive from outside ourselves. So many writers who write about mattering are telling us we matter because we decide we are valued or because we add value. This definition puts you into striving because mattering depends on you.

Something outside of you declares your worth. God declares that you matter because you belong to Him. From that secure foundation, we are free to stop proving our worth and start living from it.

Spiritual awareness helps us notice when we've started looking in the wrong places for proof that we matter. Instead of exhausting ourselves trying to prove we matter through achievement, approval, productivity, or popularity, we learn to rest in God's intentional love toward us. When our worth is secure in Him, we no longer have to perform for belonging. We become free to be humble, generous, curious, and fully present with other people.

Perhaps spiritual awareness begins with a simple question: Whose voice am I listening to today?

The voice of shame says you must earn your worth.

The voice of fear says you'll never be enough.

But the voice of God says something entirely different. You are already loved. You are already known. You already belong.

Your worth was never something you had to create. It was something God declared over you before you ever accomplished anything, before you ever failed, before you ever wondered if you mattered.

That awareness changes everything.

When you know you belong to the everlasting larger story God who created you and calls you his own, you no longer have to spend your life trying to prove you matter. You can finally live from the truth that you already do.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me.” (John 10:27-28, NLT)

I belong to this Good Shepherd. I matter.

Questions for Reflection:

Why do you think the question of “Do I matter?” is such a deep human question, even for people who know they are loved by God?

What are some common messages your chattering brain tells you when you are tired, disappointed, or struggling?

How do you discern the difference between the voice of God and the voices of shame, fear, or comparison?

Why do you think we often believe negative thoughts about ourselves more quickly than we believe God's truth about us?

Why is it sometimes easier to work for approval than to receive love freely?

What practices help you become more aware of God’s voice and less of your chattering brain?