Understanding forgiveness from Matthew 6:14-15 - Divorce Minister

One good thing that came out of my ex-wife’s adultery and my consequential divorce from her is that I know God’s Word much better than before particularly in regards to forgiveness and repentance. A lot of what I got from the Christian community was Matt 6:14-15:

..but with no regards to the condition that God forgives us, namely repentance. I found this to be manipulative and begs the question of what forgiveness is. This is what led me to study the topic more closely for the last two years.

One aspect of forgiveness that I did come to understand is that my forgiveness towards my fellow man (when they repent), is in no way equivalent to Jesus’s forgiveness of me. I cannot absorb the sins of others thereby reconciling them to God and giving them eternal life. To me that is huge, an immense chasm of difference! Certainly, God did not mean that my forgiveness is on the same level with His with Matt:6:14-15. What is your take on this DM?

-Michael

Dear Michael,

Context is so important when we are talking about any command in the Bible. These two important verses come out of Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount.

This is the same set of teachings that tell us to gouge out our eye if it causes us to sin. I haven’t seen many people walking into the church with eye patches, yet I guarantee most–if not everyone–struggles with the sin of lust from time to time.

So, to properly understand Jesus’ command here to forgive,I think it is completely wise and fair to consider it in light of his other teachings on forgiveness.

Ultimately, God does not contradict Himself, after all.

I am immediately drawn to “The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant” found later in the same Gospel (Matthew 18:21-35).

For those unfamiliar, this is a story where Jesus teaches a lesson about a servant forgiven a huge debt he owes, but he won’t forgive a much smaller debt owed to him. That “unmerciful servant” is then punished for his failure to forgive the smaller debt owed to him. The parable is told to illustrate what will happen to us if we do not forgive.

Hang with me…

I notice that the question of the need to repay the debt is never on the blocks. Everyone acknowledges the debts are real and exist. The story does not spend any time establishing whether or not one party believes they are indebted to the other.

What is treated as reprehensible is that the servant will not show mercy when asked for it.

This is what I see is in operation in Matthew 6:14-15. Jesus is condemning those who refuse to forgive an acknowledged debt–i.e. the repentant petitioner.

Linking this to Luke 17:3 where Jesus teaches forgiveness only if the offender repents, I would say Jesus is condemning the practice of withholding forgiveness when repentance IS evident.

Christians run into all sorts of theological problems when taking verses like these from Matthew 6 and removing them from the context of other teachings on forgiveness in Scripture.

Like Jesus’ gift of forgiveness to the world, we do not benefit from this gift unless we recognize we need it AND ask for it.

So, in a sense, the world is not forgiven because everyone in the world does not recognize their need nor has asked for it. In fact, some people will rather curse God denying ever having such a need, and ergo, they will go unforgiven. I place unrepentant cheaters in that category.

Unrepentant cheaters do not acknowledge the debt they have incurred by their sin, and thereby, they are unable to avail themselves of forgiveness.

That said, we are clearly to offer forgiveness to those seeking that mercy just as we received it from God. I see that as indisputable from Scripture.

It does not matter how awfully that person sinned against you or I. If they recognize what they did as wrong and seek forgiveness from us–i.e. repent–then we are obligated as followers of Christ to forgive them.

That’s how I see that passage. Hope that helps!

Blessings,

-DM

*A version of this post ran previously.