"Why Not Be Wronged?" Wrongful Mindset - Divorce Minister

The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?

-I Corinthians 6:7, NIV

Any application of this Scripture as a way to hide and absolve a cheater is a gross misapplication of this text. In just two verses (verse 9), Paul warns that adulterers explicitly would not inherit God’s Kingdom. Obviously, this teaching from Paul properly understood is not talking about being soft on sin.

And certainly, it is not an exhortation to take adultery lightly.

This verse might be used by some to manipulate faithful spouses into feeling too guilty to enlist a divorce lawyer and thereby going instead through “Christian” mediation.

For the record: I do not generally recommend going that route–especially if your soon-to-be-ex has hidden a double life for months, years, or decades!

The secular law is imperfect and sometimes unjust. However, it does force a cheater to play by rules not of their own choosing and setting. They cannot simply make it up as they go along like they are used to doing in the marriage up to that point.

To those who claim that a Christian ought never to engage a lawyer, I want to point out that God ordained government to deal precisely with matters like these–i.e. injustices (e.g. Romans 13:4). They are to protect the vulnerable and oppressed. Faithful spouses are vulnerable victims having already experienced severe injustice at the hands of the treacherously adulterous spouse.

Furthermore, in order to get a divorce, we need to engage the legal system in our country. Going through mediation with someone who has demonstrated a penchant to deceive and manipulate–as every cheater has–is to enter a situation with true naivete.

What makes one think the cheater’s character will suddenly change into an honest broker after months or years of deception breaking the most sacred of human vows?

As a refresher: A true friend does not soul rape and gaslight another.

Such are attacks upon a faithful spouse and a wise faithful spouse will recognize them as such taking appropriate action–like getting a divorce lawyer–to protect themselves.

Engaging a divorce lawyer is a reality check: It is a reminder that a cheater is no longer a friend but someone working against one’s well-being.

And God supports people accepting and living in reality.

It is called walking in truth.