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It’s Not Supposed to be Like This • HOLES TO WHOLE

Shannon Stedman

“It’s not supposed to be like this.”

I stood on the porch waving goodbye to my kids with this thought running through my mind.

“It’s not supposed to be like this.”

This is nothing new. I have watched and waved countless times thinking the same thing.

“It’s not supposed to be like this.”

Fast forward a few hours and the phrase is still running through my head. So here I am. Over these past few hours, I have thought about so many things – grief, loss and just how often I think some version of:

It’s not supposed to be like this.”

The driver is in the wrong lane.

My child is in pain.

I am being disrespected.

A marriage on the brink.

My body.

Death.

This country.

Our world.

It’s not supposed to be like this.”

When I let my guard down and allow the sorrow to wash over me, I feel my eyes wet and a pit in my stomach.

It has taken me a long time to learn that even when I think that something is “supposed to” be a certain way, I’m not necessarily right. There aren’t many, if any guarantees in this life. I do know that if I keep living my life, there will be strong feelings, pain, and grief along the way.

I will continue to feel deep sadness for so many things that I want to be different. I will continue to cry, grieve and scream when I have to.

I will also keep bringing myself to the table. I will keep taking action as small as it may be to shine light, my light in this world even on my dimmer days.

Love you all!

Written by Shannon Stedman. To read more of Shannon’s writings, visit www.shannonstedman.com. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/holestowholecoaching. Instagram:@shannon_stedman.