A Different Life — Grateful, yet Grieving
The world turns on its axis when you experience the death of a loved one. So many changes happen so quickly you can hardly catch your breath. Thomas Ellis, author of the book “This Thing Called Grief” describes the secondary losses that accompany the major loss of a loved one. These include different social activities, change in routine, lifestyle, financial status, and the loss of the future life you anticipated with the person who is gone. For some, it might mean moving from the home you shared or going to a different church. This was my experience.
My husband and I attended our church for over 30 years. We did ministry together and individually. We sat in the same spot every Sunday. Going back to church after he died was difficult. As I drove into the parking lot a month later and began crying in the car, I wondered if I could actually walk in the door. A couple I knew came toward my car and graciously walked in with me. I tried sitting in the same spot where we sat but immediately knew I had to find a new seat. People in my church loved me, cared for me, and walked with me the first year.
Going into the second year after my husband died, I toyed with the idea of finding another church. With Covid and doing online church, I sensed God opening a new place of worship. The loss of my husband created so many other losses. Leaving my church was painful in the moment but allowed me to step into what I now have; a different community of people who know only me as a person, not a couple. I have a different place to worship and a new place to belong.
Among all the changes following the death of my husband, one thing has not changed. God’s faithfulness, comfort, and strength have endured.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Life will bring challenges and changes, but we can trust and stay close to the Lord who promises to be with us and does not change.
