A Healthy Dose of Grace
Photo image courtesy Pixabay
"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces, but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day, he will restore us, that we may live in his presence." – Hosea 6:1-3 (NIV)
They entered the room wearing yellow, layered gowns, double gloves, and masks, and slapped a hazard symbol on my son's door before disappearing. Everyone assumed the doctor had already been in to give the diagnosis. He hadn't, and I was terrified.
I called out to a passing nurse from the door. “What is wrong with my son?”
She halted, her eyes wide over the double mask. “No one told you? Your son has RSV and must be isolated."
In 1998, RSV was the COVID of respiratory infections. Only hours earlier, Jonathan had been a vibrant, playful toddler. Now, he ping-ponged between a lethargic, dehydrated patient and a screaming warrior.
Jonathan was old enough to fight off help, which he did with gusto, and too young to understand that an army of strangers were scrambling to save his life. For hours, I attempted to distract, hold, and keep his hand away from the IV. In exhaustion, I crawled into his crib at two in the morning, held him close, and sang him, finally, to sleep.
As a new believer, God was quickly laying a foundation of Scripture, prayer, fellowship, and witnessing in my soul, but Jonathan’s sickness stirred up my old way of thinking. Had I done something wrong? Was I being punished? I knew in my head that God was trustworthy, but my heart still struggled with the lie, I don't deserve this child. I had an oppressive feeling God could take things away from me at any time if I sinned. A thought pattern founded in fear rather than the free gift of grace.
You may feel the same way. If you Googled, “why does God allow…”, sickness, pain, and suffering are at the top of the list. As a person with a family that has chronic health issues, and ultimately the loss of Jonathan at 18, nothing tests my faith more.
It’s hard to see the truth of God’s character when fear is my filter. Suffering does not equal punishment. I love the Message version of Hebrews 12: 5-11. Paul states, “This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children.”
The prophet Hosea recognized the redemptive quality of strife. The Israelites had been in utter rebellion of God, and He allowed them to be captured by other nations and brutally treated. Yet, at the end of Hosea’s ordeal he was able to see that the discipline produced an opportunity to turn away from sin, strengthen character, and resulted in closeness with God.
Good things aren't dependent upon our failures or successes; they are a result of a good God who loves us. During Jonathan’s illness as a toddler, I emerged more patient, resilient, and held tangible proof of God's faithfulness in the midst of sickness.
My world shifted but did not fall apart. I didn't disappoint God as a mother. Ultimately, even after losing Jonathan at a young age I can still say God is good.
Those layers of experience have led to a sturdier trust. I know He is present. Does He allow suffering? Yes. But I also know God did not spare His own Son from suffering on the Cross, which produced justice, mercy, grace, love, and salvation in the lives of many, including my own.
Questions for Reflection:
1. What is your view of your current circumstances and the truth that God allows sickness, persecution, and trials into your life?
2. How does knowing that God did not spare his own son, but gave Him up willingly for us all, (Romans 8:32), affect the view of your circumstances?
