“If only you would have done everything to bring in money, then I wouldn’t be so miserable.”


Some Cheaters genuinely believe their spouse is responsible for their feelings, especially their happiness or lack thereof.

This is a losing proposition for faithful spouses. We cannot succeed in this rigged game. Humans are responsible for their own emotions and caring for themselves. We do not have that power.

We are only responsible for ourselves. That is ALL we control. It is what we will be held accountable for by God (see 2 Cor. 5:10).

When Cheaters say, “If only you had done…,” they are just making excuses for inexcusable cheating. Your action or inaction does not have the power to make them cheat or keep them from cheating.

Some Cheaters eventually learn the hard way that “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence” as the saying goes.

Honestly, when Cheaters put the faithful spouse on notice for responsibility regarding their emotions, they are telling on themselves. They are saying that they USE people.

People are there to give them enjoyable emotions. This is why future relationships are doomed. They are just using people.

That is not the stuff of lasting relationship. And we can be grateful to get away from such an individual in the end. They weren’t there in the marriage to serve but to be served all along.