Cheaters say this, and sadly, they believe it.

They do not see how having an affair partner is a major problem for their marriage. In their minds, they have already believed the lie that they are entitled to this relationship. It has been–conveniently for them–boxed away from their marriage commitments.

The affair partner has everything to do with “us” in that they are standing in between “us” sinfully. Their presence in the marriage is the primary problem for the marriage!

Of course, the cheater will have all kinds of justifications to protect their lie. They will say things about the marriage having this or that issue prior to the affair partner’s arrival. That does not matter.

You do not make a marriage better by introducing an affair partner into the mix. That is like a doctor pretending to “heal” a cold by shooting you in the head. Such is not a healing move.

Cheaters denying the problem their affair partners pose to the marriage are telling you that the cheater has no problem with their adultery. They have a hardened heart that cares not for the damage their sin is doing to you and your family.

Sadly, they will soon–hopefully–discover that reality does not change based on their whims when the divorce papers and court orders go into effect.

Yep, she is no longer has anything to do with “us,” because we are no longer “us.”