Cheater-Speak: "I can't keep pretending..." - Divorce Minister

Skip to content

What this really means is the Cheater is tired of hiding their contempt for the faithful spouse. They are declaring it is too much. So, they will now display their contempt openly.

The cheater has no real problem with pretending as long as it advantages them.

They are happy to continue pretending if it means avoiding consequences for their sins against the faithful spouse. Pretending is NOT the problem here.

This statement serves as a way to help in their own (self?) deception. It makes it seem that their behavior is virtuous. They are allegedly stopping the deception and being “honest.”

But that is just another lie.

Again, their problem is NOT with pretending. Their problem is with having to hide their contempt for the faithful spouse. They want permission to be even more cruel. This statement is a way for them to give themselves that permission.

If you have a Cheater saying such things, beware! That is simply a prelude for some very nasty follow up statements in the form of character attacks.

Post navigation

Give

Subscribe to the Daybreak Devotions for Women

Be inspired by God's Word every day! Delivered to your inbox.


More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Requiring You To Follow Their Advice - Divorce Minister

    “You need to do this, or you wife will never come back,” says “friend.” I recently came across a video short on my phone. The speaker talked about how people who insist on you following their advice are not about care. They are about control. Some of us have had such “helpers” in our lives … Continue reading "Requiring You To Follow Their Advice"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A hug, not a kiss - Divorce Minister

    “Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading "A hug, not a kiss"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Yes "....at just the right time" - Divorce Minister

    You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading "Yes “….at just the right time”"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister

    “Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading "Cheater Still Blaming Spouse"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A Powerful Quote About Trauma - Divorce Minister

    This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading "A Powerful Quote About Trauma"

    1 min read

Editor's Picks

More from David Derksen

  • featureImage

    Requiring You To Follow Their Advice - Divorce Minister

    “You need to do this, or you wife will never come back,” says “friend.” I recently came across a video short on my phone. The speaker talked about how people who insist on you following their advice are not about care. They are about control. Some of us have had such “helpers” in our lives … Continue reading "Requiring You To Follow Their Advice"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A hug, not a kiss - Divorce Minister

    “Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading "A hug, not a kiss"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Yes "....at just the right time" - Divorce Minister

    You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading "Yes “….at just the right time”"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    Cheater Still Blaming Spouse - Divorce Minister

    “Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading "Cheater Still Blaming Spouse"

    2 min read
  • featureImage

    A Powerful Quote About Trauma - Divorce Minister

    This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading "A Powerful Quote About Trauma"

    1 min read