Depression, The Holidays, and Life’s Hard Curveballs — Carol McLeod Ministries
A Note from Carol: One of the most fulfilling aspects of my ministry is the privilege of partnering with others who have dedicated their lives to proclaiming the hope and truth found in God’s Word. I believe we are in a season where God is amplifying the voices of those uniquely called to inspire, encourage, and equip the Church. Today, I’m thrilled to introduce you to Dr. Alan Weissenbacher. He is not only a gifted theologian but also a passionate communicator whose insights challenge and uplift all who hear him. With a deep love for Scripture and a heart for God’s people, he has the rare ability to illuminate biblical truths in a way that feels both profound and personal. It is an honor to share my blog platform with him, and I know you will be blessed by his words.
It looks like my family won’t be home for the holidays this year. We won’t be hosting a Thanksgiving feast, decorating for Christmas, or having a tree. Our house flooded, and we have been relocated to a hotel for the near future. Two separate pipes broke, and the water shut off to the house failed. My wife and I took turns bailing water for 2 days until a plumber could arrive. Our kitchen, bathroom, and floors are ruined. There is a lot to tear out and a lot to rebuild. Life threw us a curveball right before the holidays - not to mention the first hotel we relocated to, turned out to be sketchy. Let’s just say my online review could be, “At least there was no gunfire.”
We moved to a second hotel, and we will be celebrating the holidays there. We didn’t expect this. It has been emotionally challenging. We have God and each other, so we will be ok, but it is natural to get depressed as things are not what we expected. Many people get depressed going into the holidays. My former clients at the rehabilitation center would often struggle in this season. They had undergone much loss: family, friends, jobs. While taking time to grieve is healthy, the Bible also says to have joy in trials (James 1:2-4). How do we control our thoughts in the face of depression so that we can see joy?
First, when talking about depression, we need to recognize two types: situational and chronic. Situational is the depression that comes when things get tough, our expectations are thwarted, we lose something precious or are hit with a curveball. Chronic, however, is long-term.
In regard to chronic depression, people often ask, “Is there something wrong with me if I haven’t been healed?” Or, “Am I showing a lack of faith if I take medication?” The answers are “No,” and “No.” Sometimes, as with the woman who had chronic bleeding for 12 years before Jesus healed her (Matthew 9:20-22), healing is a journey that takes time, or as with Paul’s thorn in his side (2 Cor. 12:7), healing might not come until the heavenly kingdom.
And if you need to take medication, think of how God acts through natural things in the Bible. God purified water with a piece of wood (Exodus 15:22-27). God healed Namaan through a river (2 Kings 5:14) and a blind man with mud and spit (John 9:6-7). Although giving an altar call saying, “If you need healing, come up front so I can spit on you,” doesn’t go over well. The Good Samaritan put oil and wine on the traveler’s wounds which was medicine at that time (Luke 10:33-34). God can work through natural things like medicine. It is up to you in prayer and in consultation with your doctors to figure out what is best, and if medication is the needed route, God is in that too. You are ok.
So, how can we change depressed thinking? The paths in the brain we most often use become highways that the brain automatically takes whenever life is challenging. Dwelling on depressive thoughts can wire our brains toward depression. Studies on people with low self esteem reveal that their brains have become so rewired by negativity that they have trouble recognizing compliments or positive life situations that go against the negative self-concept. A selective blindness is created. This makes it hard to get unstuck. Depression can do the same. The solution is to take the time to deliberately notice the positive. And since you can miss a lot of it. You need to inundate yourself so that at least some will stick and begin to change the pathways in your brain. And when you do notice a positive, hold onto it and think it through over and over like people sometimes do with worrisome thoughts. Dwell on and rehearse that positive thing!
One way to do this is to create “memorials.” Can you think of a time when it seemed like you were facing something impossible, but you got through it? Write that down! If you are artistic, create art to go with it, and then art or not, post it where you can see it as a daily reminder. Write down answered prayers so you can look back on this list in tough times.
Work on noticing things to be thankful for to train your brain! A pastor friend of mine has committed taking a daily photo of something pretty in nature and posting it on social media as, “God’s beauty for today.” He forces himself to regularly celebrate something amazing in God’s creation. For another example, I often ask my kids to think of something they are thankful for before bed.
You can also use scripture that talks about God’s faithfulness. Our family has verses about God’s care and provision posted in our bathroom where we can see and read them daily. When my rehabilitation clients would be consumed with regret and sadness, I tell them to memorize Joel 2:25 where God says that he will restore the years the locusts have eaten. When you face loss, whether through life’s circumstances or even your own choices, think long on this verse. God can restore. Things may not go back to the way they were, but God can create something new! Look expectantly for and work with God to create that new thing.
We should also do activities that take us out of self-focus into focusing on others. If you are facing a lonely holiday, volunteer somewhere. Get involved. It might be hard when all you want to do is lay in bed, but do it anyway. Don’t wait until you cheer up. Do it sad. In fact, you will probably need to while those brain paths slowly change through the new inputs you are giving it.
Finally, how you talk to yourself can help. Right now as our family is living out of a hotel through the holidays, our home a disaster area, I tell myself whenever sadness creeps in, “This is an opportunity for God to show up. I can look forward in faith for that moment. God is good and will sustain me. He will help me walk through this valley.” This helps me wait on the Lord and not sink into sadness.
These actions are hard work, but they help us change our thinking away from depression to hopeful expectation in the Lord, creating a new faith highways in the brain and enable us to “be transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2), finding freedom from depression.
Welcome back to the Significant Women podcast! Today’s episode features a joyful and inspiring conversation with author Kathi Lipp, whose latest book is titled ‘Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest.’ Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—it’s a guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off. Listen in for a celebration of all that is Sabbath (and some never before shared recipes from Carol McLeod as well!)
Order Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest at https://a.co/d/7K9JW1m
Connect with Kathi and order her other books at https://www.kathilipp.com/
