How to deal with regret caused by missed opportunities.
Good day beautiful people
I hope that this post meets you and your loved ones well? In today’s write up I will be talking about missed opportunities and the pain it brings. Although opportunities come and go certain missed chances hurt us more than other’s, and it’s ok to be upset but it’s very important for us to learn to move forward.
I’m sure that many individuals have experienced missing a job opportunity (missed the deadline for handing in a job application), maybe some of you reading may have missed a flight, or the opportunity to learn a new skill, or the opportunity to form a connection/relationship with someone special. I’m sure that we all have a story to tell but how do we deal with the grief that comes with an unfulfilled dream/missed opportunity? Dealing with grief of any kind is not something easy to do, but I believe that there are some practical steps that one can take to help cope with the sadness that comes with missing a chance. It’s also vital to learn how to avoid repeatedly making the same mistakes.
Proverbs 13:12 ~ “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”
I’m not an expert in the field of counselling (I have a level 3 diploma) , but I’ve missed SEVERAL opportunities in my lifetime which has caused me to navigate through feelings of regret on multiple occasions and I’d like to share some lessons I’ve learnt with you. If feelings of regret are engulfing your everyday life please do seek help from a professional.
Some factors which can cause missed opportunities
⁃ Fear: Fear of the future and the belief that things are likely to go terribly wrong if you make changes holds many people back in life. Many think of the worse case scenario taking place if they decide to step out and switch up their routine (e.g. making a career change) but in reality change can bring about a lot of positive differences into our lives. Yes you may experience difficulties in life but this doesn’t mean you should automatically give up, learning from hardships can actually help one develop their character. Also don’t let past failures stop you from embracing new opportunities.
Romans 5:3-4 ~ “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”
2 Timothy 1:7 ~ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
Galatians 6:9 ~ So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
^^^ Never ever give up!!!
⁃ Procrastination/ Lack of organisation: Now this is something that I struggle with A LOT. I am super relaxed in nature which is a good thing, BUT my downfall is that I leave everything to the last minute. And because of this I’ve missed out on a lot of opportunities due to not giving myself a fair chance to carry out tasks to the best of my ability. I end up doing things to a mediocre standard at times which doesn’t always reap the best results. So my advice is don’t wait till the 11th hour before you start making plans, always start planning early so that if you do run into a problem you know that you’ve given yourself enough time to get things sorted. Don’t delay act now.
⁃ You’re doing too much: Life can get so busy at times and sometimes we can take on too much at one given time. And when we’re busy we can easily end up getting distracted and involving ourselves in activities which are not so beneficial to us. If you find yourself in this situation don’t be afraid to ask for help and I believe an important skill to develop is to learn to prioritise your workload. Ask a close friend or family member to help support you and hold you accountable to your set goals and objectives.
⁃ Doubt: Lack of belief in your own capabilities. You have to believe that God created you for greatness and you have the ability to achieve amazing things with His help. Stop thinking so little of yourself, and if you constantly do so you may be suffering from inferiority complex. We must STOP comparing ourselves to others, and have faith in God’s power and wisdom/knowledge. God can use us to do great things for His glory and for the benefit of those around us.
Galatians 6:4 ~ Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
⁃ Indecisiveness: The inability to make decisions in a timely and effective fashion. This can stem from fear and worry due to spending too much time overthinking. It is wise to take your time when making decisions but it’s not very productive to spend an excessive amount of time wondering ‘what if’. It’s important to remember that life on Earth is not perfect and we can only find total perfection in heaven. If you’re looking for absolute perfection you will never find it so you’ll end up waiting your whole life without moving forward. Life is full of ups and downs and just because you experience a hiccup in a plan you made does not make you a failure or mean you’re poor at what you do.
Ecclesiastes 11:4 ~ Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
^^^ 💯
Learning to heal emotionally
⁃ Accept that you feel sad but don’t dwell in the past.
⁃ If they (a company or a person) didn’t choose you, then there is nothing you can do to force them to change their decision. God has given everyone freewill therefore everyone has the power to choose to a certain extent. What you can do is work on being the best version of yourself by gaining new skills, and improving on areas that need your attention/focus such as time management or money management etc.
⁃ God’s promises concerning your life WILL come to pass no matter what, and there’s nothing that anyone can do to stop God’s promises from being established in your life, not even Satan. If it’s meant to be it’ll be.
Joshua 23:14 ~ “Soon I will die, going the way of everything on earth. Deep in your hearts you know that every promise of the Lord your God has come true. Not a single one has failed!”
Joshua 21:45 ~ “Not a single one of all the good promises the Lord had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true.”
⁃ Lastly there are some opportunities that are just not for us full-stop. The Bible says there’s a way that seems right to man but ends in death. Sometimes God can be protecting us from unforeseen danger when we encounter a closed door. Lastly we have to learn to accept the reality of life. If it is not in God’s plan for our lives than it WON’T happen! There’s no amount of forcing or praying we can do to force something to happen that is not part of God’s will for our lives. When we try to force things to happen we only end up exhausting ourselves.
Proverbs 14:12 ~ There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.
Deuteronomy 1:42 ~ “But the Lord told me to tell you, ‘Do not attack, for I am not with you. If you go ahead on your own, you will be crushed by your enemies.’”
^^^Don’t do what God has told you not to do as you’ll only end up harming yourself.
Well I hope you enjoyed today’s read and I pray that you can learn to move forward rather than dwell in the past. Do not let regret and sadness rob you of God’s joy. Healing can take time, but there is nothing to difficult for God to do.
A powerful hymn
When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul
It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul
God bless
Love from
Christian Lady After God’s Own Heart 💜
