How to overcome your need for approval and start living for yourself

One aspect often emerges prominently in life's journey, deeply rooted in many hearts: the need for approval. This search for others' validation, timeless in its existence, influences your self-perception, decisions, and paths chosen. It's a shared experience, yet it impacts each person differently.

Think about how frequently you've looked for a nod, a reassuring smile, or a word of praise. From early days, the desire to be liked and accepted shapes much of what humans do. It starts simply as a child looks for approval from parents and teachers. This need can grow with you as you grow, silently guiding your choices and aspirations.

Why seek approval? It may provide a sense of belonging, or it's a measure of your worth. Whatever the reason, it's important to realize that while seeking approval is natural, it can become a limitation, preventing you from living freely and honestly.

Overcoming this need isn't about ignoring others but finding a balance. It's about valuing your opinion and making choices that reflect who you are. In the following sections, you'll learn how to free yourself from the need for approval and start a journey of self-discovery and liberation.

Strategies to Overcome the Need for Approval

To overcome your need for approval, it is essential to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This need for approval, a deep-seated urge to seek validation from others, can be a heavy chain that binds your true self. But fear not, for there are strategies to break free and start living for yourself.

Firstly, understanding the roots of your approval-seeking behavior is crucial. Reflect on moments in your life when you have desperately sought validation. It may have been during a presentation at work or while deciding your personal life. These patterns often stem from early experiences. You might have been praised for certain actions as a child, learning to associate approval with self-worth. This reflection is not to assign blame but to understand and acknowledge. Only when you recognize these patterns can you begin to change them.

Building self-acceptance and confidence is your next powerful step. You must cultivate a sense of worth that comes from within, not from the opinions of others. Begin by listing your strengths and achievements. Yes, even the small victories count. Remind yourself daily of these positives. This practice is not about inflating your ego but replacing external validation with internal affirmation. Self-compassion is also key. Understand that you are human and that making mistakes is a part of growth. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a dear friend.\

READ MORE: Why do I always seek approval from others

Developing personal autonomy is another essential strategy. This means making decisions based on your desires and values rather than what you think will please others. It involves understanding what truly matters to you and standing by it, even if it does not align with the expectations of others. Start small; make choices in your daily life that reflect your true self. It could be as simple as choosing a meal you like, even if it differs from what your friends are having. Gradually, as you make more decisions for yourself, you will feel a growing sense of empowerment.

It is also important to learn to say no. This can be challenging, primarily if you are used to pleasing others. But remember, saying no does not make you a bad person. It simply means you are respecting your own limits and needs. Start practicing in low-stakes situations. With time, saying no when necessary will become more comfortable, and you will find that it brings a sense of freedom.

Shifting your focus from external validation to internal is vital. You have to learn to be your own cheerleader. Celebrate your own achievements, not for the applause from others, but for the personal satisfaction and fulfillment they bring. This shift does not happen overnight, but with persistent practice, it becomes a part of who you are.

Lastly, embracing mindfulness can significantly aid in overcoming the need for approval. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and accepting it without judgment. This practice helps you focus on your feelings and thoughts rather than how others perceive you. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes daily to focus on your breath and be present in the now.

Living Authentically: Embracing Your True Self

Living authentically emerges as a beacon of hope and freedom. This section of our journey is about embracing your true self, casting off the shackles of external validation, and finding joy in being who you truly are.

The Role of Mindfulness and Self-Reflection

Mindfulness is a powerful tool in this journey. It is like a quiet friend, always there to remind you to stay in the present. Practicing mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice helps you understand that your worth does not hinge on the approval of others. Instead, it comes from within, from a deep and abiding sense of who you are.

Self-reflection complements mindfulness. It involves taking time to look inward to understand your motivations, dreams, and fears. Regular self-reflection helps you to identify when you are seeking approval and why. It shines a light on the paths you can take to stay true to yourself, even when the world seems to push you in different directions.

Establishing Supportive Relationships

Overcoming the need for approval also means surrounding yourself with people who value you for who you are, not just for what you do or say. These supportive relationships are like pillars in a temple, providing strength and stability. Seek out friends and family who encourage you to express your true self. In these relationships, you find the freedom to be authentic, and to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.

Effective communication is key in these relationships. It involves being open about your needs and boundaries. It is about having the courage to speak your truth, even when it feels difficult. Remember, genuine connections thrive on honesty and mutual respect.

Continued Growth and Self-Discovery

Finally, embracing your true self is an ongoing process. It is a journey, not a destination. Life is full of changes and challenges, and each day presents new opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Keep an open mind and heart. Be ready to learn from your experiences, and allow yourself to evolve.

Your beliefs and values change over time. This is normal and healthy. It is a sign that you are growing, not that you were wrong before. Embrace these changes. They are a testament to your journey towards living authentically.

Self-Empowerment

You have learned the significance of overcoming the need for approval. You now possess the tools to live authentically, guided by your values and desires. Remember, the path to self-empowerment is not without its challenges. However, with persistence and self-love, you can break free from the chains of external validation. Embrace your newfound freedom and step into a life where your choices reflect your true self. Go forth with confidence, for a life of authenticity and personal fulfillment awaits you beyond needing approval.