Lord, Teach Me about Spiritual Awareness

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 'I the Lord search the heart and test the mind.'" -- Jeremiah 17:9-10

The phrase, "spiritual awareness" sounds lofty and unattainable. Yet the Lord does want to help us become aware of what is going on in our hearts and minds.

Years ago--before cell phones--I didn't know how to be aware of my motives. They were a hidden mystery to me. But God used an experience to heighten my understanding of why I reacted a certain way.

I signed up to bring snacks for our adult Sunday School class. I knew I would be out of town the week before but I always kept my commitments.

When I returned from vacation, Cheri, the woman in charge of snacks, had left two messages on my answering machine (yes, it was that long ago!). The first said, "Kathy, you are signed up for snacks. Let me know you will bring them." The second said, "I didn't hear from you so I'll find someone else."

I went ballistic. How dare she think I wouldn't keep my promise. Did she think I was lying? I ranted and raved. But I didn't know why her words made me so furious.

Years later during a time of receiving deep counseling, I learned how childhood wounds affect adult choices and how to be spiritually aware. One of the questions I could ask myself was, "What does my anger protect me from?"

It was then I remembered third grade when I said something mean to another student. The students reported to our teacher, Mrs. Leighton, what I'd done. I was favored by Mrs. Leighton and depended upon her special attention.

Mrs. Leighton looked very concerned as she asked me, "Kathy, is this true?"

I felt terror. I believed I was about to lose what I needed. I lied. "No, Mrs. Leighton, I didn't say that."

Mrs. Leighton smiled and turned away. I felt embarrassed as the students glared at me. In that seminal moment, I unconsciously made a vow. "No one can ever know I lied. I will always keep my promises."

That was the source of my anger about the snacks. I was terrified everyone in class would know I didn't keep my promise to bring snacks. Of course, that was ridiculous. No one cared. But I cared as if everyone would be pointing their finger at me, saying, "She's a liar."

Now when I sense anger--or any ungodly reaction--rise up within me, I evaluate my heart and mind. That's an important aspect of spiritual awareness. Of course, not every temptation is based in past hurts but looking for those wounds can be very helpful to identify hidden motives.

God says in Jeremiah 17:9-10, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? 'I the Lord search the heart and test the mind.'"

That is spiritual awareness--when we ask God to reveal our motives. As we see His searching as loving inquiries, we will welcome His help and be transformed.

Questions for Reflection:

1. What is going on in my heart right now that I'm tempted to react in an ungodly way?

2. How can I become more spiritually aware right now?

3. How does God want to provide help for my spiritual growth?

Father God, thank you for wanting to make a difference in my life. I'm so grateful you know my heart and mind even if it seems scary to me. You saved me and invite relationship with me even though you know the truth about my heart and mind's motives. Help me to remember you search for my good, not to make me feel guilty and hopeless. Please forgive me for my wrong motives and restore to me the joy of my salvation. In Jesus's Name, I pray. Amen.