Love is More Than a Feeling, It's a Choice
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“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” —John 13:34-35 (NIV)
Do you struggle to love those around you? It’s not a trick question, but it’s one we struggle to answer honestly. Loving those who love us back is easy peasy lemon squeezy! They are kind, caring, and compassionate. What’s not to love?
But what about that co-worker who always complains and puts you down? What about the kid on the bus who picks his nose and then laughs as he wipes it on you? What about the spouse who cheated on you or lied about where they’d been for the last 24 hours? What about the neighbor who does nothing but cause chaos in your town? Is it easy to love them?
The short and truthful answer is no. It’s not easy to love those who don’t treat you with love and respect. And yet, God calls us to love and do good to all people, and that includes those who have and will continue to hurt you.
I want to be clear that this is not an excuse for abuse. You should never stay in a relationship or friendship that causes you physical, mental, or emotional harm. But today we’re talking about love in general. More specifically, why love is more than a feeling, but a choice.
In John 13, Jesus tells us that we’re called to love one another just as He loved us. If we’re truly His Disciples, then we will love without cause. Why? Because Jesus loved us to death. While we were still sinners, spitting in His face, cursing Him, and crucifying His body, He looked down on us with love. He chose to die for us because of His great, sacrificial, eternal, and never-ending love.
Today, if you’re struggling to love everyone around you, I’d encourage you to take this verse to heart. Memorize it and ask God to expose anything in you that needs to be purified. Then, ask Him for the strength to love those who may not always or ever love you back. In doing so, you will reap hot coals on their head, and they’ll be left wondering, “What kind of human loves their enemies?”
Question for Reflection:
Do you struggle to love those who hurt you or don’t love you back? I know I do. But Jesus’ sacrifice reminds me that love isn’t a feeling, but a choice. No matter what you’re facing or experiencing today, God freely extends His love to you so that you can share it with others. If this is hard for you, ask God to remind you of His love for you. Then, do one small act of kindness for that person. It may never change their behavior or habits, but it might plant a seed of Christ in their heart.
