Thirteen Years of Not Yet

For thirteen years, I prayed the same prayer. Not for an escrow to close, a promotion, or a financial rescue. I prayed that my wife, Carolyn, would receive Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. And for thirteen years, the answer was the same: not yet.

Carolyn was raised Jewish. After we married, I decided to give her the time she needed. I knew I couldn’t change her heart. Only God can do that. My part was to help her hear God’s Word, pray faithfully, and trust His timing.

That’s harder than it sounds. When you understand what’s at stake for eternity, and the person you love most isn’t there yet, the gap between you isn’t just relational. It’s eternal. More than once I asked God if I was praying the wrong way, and what was taking so long.

What I finally understood was that His answer wasn’t “no.” It was “not yet.” And in the waiting, I had to learn what peace actually is.

Peace Moves In Through Thanksgiving

Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Notice what Paul ties together: thanksgiving and peace. He doesn’t tell us to go find peace. He says peace will guard us. It’s not something we manufacture. It’s something that moves in when we make room for it.

I saw that in my own prayers. The seasons when I prayed for Carolyn with anxiety and grasping were the hardest. The seasons when I prayed with thanksgiving, thanking God for who He is, for His patience, for loving her even more than I did, were the seasons of the most peace. Her circumstances hadn’t changed. My posture had. Peace came not because my reality changed, but because I knew who held her future.

Then one Sunday, sitting beside me in the pew, Carolyn turned and said, “David, I want to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior.”

Shortly after her baptism, a Christian school two miles from our house offered her a teaching position. She spent the next twenty-five years teaching the love of Jesus to hundreds upon hundreds of fourth and fifth graders. God’s timing wasn’t mine. But it was perfect.

Peace in the Storm, Not Just After It

Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27). He spoke those words the night before the cross. He didn’t offer peace from the storm. He offered peace in it.

Maybe you’re in your own “not yet” right now. A prodigal child. A diagnosis. A prayer you’ve prayed so long you’ve stopped saying it out loud. Here’s what I’d ask you to try this week: when anxiety rises, stop and thank God for one specific way He’s been faithful to you in the past. Let that gratitude anchor you. Isaiah 26:3 promises, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

This is the heart of Chapter 9 of Divine Gratitude: Joy Beyond This World. Peace doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from knowing the One who does. In Divine, I walk through the full story of those waiting years and the three questions that still restore my peace when the storm hits.

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Originally published at davidmclarkauthor.org: https://davidmclarkauthor.org/thirteen-years-of-not-yet/