We Gotta Catch ‘Em…All? The Saga of Games and More Games - The DV Walking Wounded

I’ve loved Pokémon since my oldest child introduced me to them in 1997. My oldest was nearly five and going to preschool. All the kids his age were talking about this latest fad from Japan and there was a cartoon of it now airing on cable TV. He begged me for the cards. He begged me for a stuffed Pikachu. He begged me for a Gameboy and video games. I gave in. We collected the cards. We watched the cartoons. We watched the movies. We played the video games, as we were a Nintendo family.

Once he started Kindergarten, the local book store started an in-person Pokémon League where kids could battle each other with their cards, trade card and earn pin badges for completing activities. I used it as an incentive to get my child to get his chores and obligations done. Sometimes they gave out special, rare shiny cards to their members. It was always a good time. He was all about it! Occasionally, I would have to work the quarterly physical inventory at my company. My then-husband did not like caring for an infant while I was gone for 8 hours on a Saturday, but ESPECIALLY didn’t want to take our son to the Pokemon League too. Honestly, the child and I had been there so frequently that they told me that they didn’t mind if my son’s Dad left him there for the duration and then picked him up timely — he was that well-behaved and invested. I presented that as an option. It didn’t seem to matter, he did NOT want to take our child to his favorite activity. Heck, he barely changed our infant child’s diapers while I was gone. I always fought guilt when I’d work this project quarterly, but we REALLY needed the money. I could almost guarantee that when I’d work physical inventory (and ran that whole activity), that I’d have a baby with a diaper rash and a ticked-off five year old when I got home. I was finally able to talk to my then-mother-in-law into taking him, because she liked to venture out on a Saturday, around that time, to go grocery shopping and to the library. That at least solved ONE issue! Sheesh!

As time went on, I’d buy packs of cards as a reward for things, like Accelerated Reader improvement, or behavior rewards at school and home. I worked for a Japanese company, so I’d bribe the engineers who would go to Japan to get me $30 worth of Japanese Pokemon cards, so I could put them in my child’s Easter Basket or Christmas Stocking, or make a basket full of cool Pokemon things for his birthday. It did backfire on me once, as an engineer returned from Japan and threw the foil-wrapped packs on my desk, vowing he’d never do that for me again, even though he’d done it twice previously. I was puzzled.

“I had to search the airport for it, because I nearly forgot,” he grumbled.

“Okay?” I said. “You know I appreciate you! Let me buy your lunch?”

“I’m never doing this again! NEVER!” he was nearly yelling. People in the cubicle farm of an office were starting to stand up and look around.

“May I ask why?” I was still puzzled, but I kept my voice low and gentle.

He took a deep breath and said, in a moderately low tone, “They had it by the porn.”

I gasped, “They did…what???” I really couldn’t believe what I had just heard.

“THEY HAD IT RIGHT NEXT TO THE PORNOGRAPHY!” he shrieked in a loud voice, as if I didn’t hear him properly.

I was taken aback. “Um, I’m sorry, but how was I supposed to know that’s where they’d place a child’s card game in a store in Japan?”

He snorted. “I’m a Christian man and I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. Don’t. Ask. Me. Again!” He abruptly left, stomping out of my department.

The engineer that had travelled with him came up to me later in the day to apologize and offered to purchase more cards for me, when he went back to Japan in a few months. I thanked him and told him I’d let him know.

Later that same year, a “Christian” woman was standing outside the bookstore, handing out pamphlets about how Pokemon was “of the devil,” which is what she told all parents and children as they were leaving after a Pokemon League [live] meeting. She was being downright harassing to parents and their kids, and the book store employees weren’t doing anything about it. I told my child to ignore her as we were leaving the store; however, she decided to grab my young child’s arm when we were walking out the door.

“Don’t grab my child,” I warned her loudly. She immediately let go and patted his head.

She laughed. “You need to take this pamphlet and come to my church. You’re letting your child be in a league with Satan and his demons…those, those poka-monsters. Preacher has been preaching about the evils of the monsters of the Beast.”

I took a deep breath and unloaded on her. “Look. lady, I believe in free speech as much as the next person and I can appreciate you exercising that right; however, you’re being harrassing to the point of annoyance, almost assaultive. If you grab one more person, just ONE MORE, I WILL call the police. Pokemon is pretend. My child knows this, but he enjoys it. It is teaching him to use his imagination, his reading skills, his mathematics skills, to use strategy, and camaraderie. Literally, GO AWAY!”

“So you’re content poisoning your child’s mind and being a neglectful parent?” she challenged.

I was about to start yelling at her when the manager came out of the store, to get between us. He told her to leave and never come back, otherwise he’d cite her for trespassing. After she left, he apologized profusely to my child and I. He told me that if I were to see her, to let him or his employees know. I did see her lurking a few weeks later at the bookstore, but as soon as she locked eyes with me, she quickly left…never to be seen or heard from again…off fighting evils elsewhere…

I informed my then-husband at the time of all of the Pokemon issues that I was having. He told me that we needed to give up Pokemon. “Besides,” he said, “Our son is too big for such nonsense.” And that was the end of our involvement with Pokemon…or so I thought…

In 2016, Pokemon Go, the smartphone game app came out and I couldn’t wait to download it on to my iPhone! I did so, without telling my then-husband, and played whenever I was out and about, going to or coming from work, at the grocery store, or at sports practice with my youngest child. Eventually, my then-husband saw me distracted.

“Who are you texting?” he demanded. He was always accusing me of being unfaithful or wanting to know whom I was conversing with and what about. He was very paranoid, but I suspected it was probably because he was doing what he usually accused me of — I just couldn’t prove it yet.

I didn’t look up from my phone. “No one. I’m playing Pokemon Go.”

He grabbed the phone from my hand and looked at it. “Seriously, Laura? Grow the f*ck up.” That statement makes me laugh, even now. I STILL play Pokemon Go. I refuse to grow old…growing up is optional.

At that time, I never purchased anything on the app and I only played ocassionally, especially when I wasn’t around him. I liked playing it when I travelled, which was infrequently, so I could collect monsters from other locales.

Eventually, all of my children (two adults and one pre-teen), downloaded the game and we’d pile in the car, WITHOUT their father, in order to go “catch ’em all.” One Friday evening, it was just my middle daughter and I, driving around in her car playing. My car was being kept from me, as punishment, so I rode with her.

We were gone for about and hour and fifteen minutes, so she dropped me off to go and hang out with her friends. I came in the door to the “Spanish Inquisition.” You’d think I’d taken up witchcraft at that point, the questions were so full of rage and wrath.

He asked me where I was, with whom, who was I having sexual relations with…it was a furious barrage of questions and incoherent screaming. Anytime I tried to answer him to assure him I was with our daughter playing Pokemon Go, he’d cut me off or shove me backwards. His face was so red I honestly thought he was going to have a heart attack. Finally, I got on my Pokemon Go app and opened the journal. Thanks to the game’s geolocation feature, I showed him all of the Pokemon I had caught. The game player’s journal lists them with a time stamp and a location. I have to say I was impressed that he went through my entire list, like an accountant. Apparently there was 10 minutes unaccounted for, where we drove 5 minutes to the downtown area where there are A LOT of Pokemon and Pokestops, then five minutes back to my house when we were finished. When my daughter came home around 11 PM, he was still furious and accused her of covering for me while I cheated on him, and even playing the game on my behalf. I was flabbergasted and annoyed, not to mention embarrassed. He demanded to see her phone and game app that night too. She called him a few choice words (when he asked if she was covering for me) and went to her room and slammed the door.

I later read an online post by the New York Post, that a young woman had caught her boyfriend cheating because he caught Pokemon in Queens, when he was supposed to be in Brooklyn, with Queens being where an ex-girlfriend lived. Uh-oh! I laughed and laughed, due to the fact that it was the only thing I could think of to show my then-husband that I wasn’t cheating on him!

Another time, I had to go out-of-town for work and came back earlier than expected. I wasn’t due home until later that evening, so I drove downtown to relax play Pokemon Go. The night before, my then-husband and I had a previous argument over-the-phone (concerning his favorite topic of my so-called infidelity), so I really was NOT in any hurry to see him. He had called me some pretty vile names and accused me of some pretty immoral things. So, I cruised along the river drive, catching Pokemon at my leisure. I decided to park across the street from the River Walk, catching Pokemon left and right. When I decided to go, I looked up and saw my then-spouse sitting on a bench, holding hands with a lovely, younger woman. He hadn’t even noticed me, so I quickly and quietly drove away and went home to fix dinner and hangout with my kiddos. It was as I suspected all along. I felt like my favorite Pokemon character, Psyduck, whose attack is “chronic headache.” At least my kids were glad to see me. He wasn’t as glad to see that I’d gotten home early, but then acted overly glad. I didn’t dare ask him where he had been and it was a quiet evening. This was a game I was tired of playing, the game of “cat and mouse” with my Abuser.

To this day, I still play Pokemon Go. Wow, In July I’ll have been playing it since its start, which is eight years! It’s a great game that ties me to my children, not a horrible time in my life. It was a lovely escape for a young child and later for his mother. My children no longer play, but my boyfriend and I do. We laugh at how many adults we see, while we are out playing together, that still play even though their children no longer do. I read online that over 85% of their players are adults age 18 to 69. Wow. Just WOW. Oh the games people play!