Dear 30 Year Old Self… – Divorce Minister

It is going to be alright. Really, it is.

I know that seems unlikely right now. Your world has been blown apart and the future seems bleak.

Trust me: It gets better, much better!

The chaplaincy internship that you are doing today will lead to a bright future for you. It will open doors to meaningful, well paid work. You have a bright professional future ahead of you even if you cannot see it today.

In fact, a mentor will tell you in the next year that you were “built for this work.” I am so glad you did not give into despair about your profession as Cheater’s dad suggested but rather decided to do this internship instead. The world needs your gifts and skills in this area.

Some advice about Cheater’s dad and other so called “friends”…

It is a waste of time and dangerous for your heart to be so open to people dedicated to (you and) your marriage’s destruction. They have their own agenda. People like that need to be kept far from your heart. They do not deserve access to your feelings.

I know it hurts because you thought that you were once close to these people. You may even had been close them at one point. However, true friends do not call you names or attack your worth. They do not demand that you follow their “advice” as if they are god. Abusive people with poor boundaries do these things. Such are not friend material.

Cheater is not your friend.

You have nothing to prove to her or her allies. She cheated on you multiple times, yet she still blames you for the marriage issues. You do not deserve such abuse. There are better people out there than her.

You do not have to submit to this on going torture. Let her have the divorce. Stop fighting it. Trust me: You will be better off without her or her allies.

I know you are desperate for a marriage miracle.

Divorce is not the end for you.

In fact, it just a necessary ending for a much better beginning. Sometimes, something has to die for new life to begin.

You will marry, again.

This marriage will last longer than your first marriage. And you will instantly become a father to an amazing little girl. Do not worry about the curses of your ex and her allies. You will be richly blessed in this “second act.”

It is going to be alright. No, it will be amazing!

Life gets better as you age. You will have a beautiful home with a beautiful family. Five parrots, yes, birds, will fill your heart with song and quirky stories. Your soul will ring, again, with laughter and joy.

And one day, you will look back on your 20s as years not nearly as wonderful as your 30s. But they were time preparing you for amazing ministry and the beautiful family that you have today!

-Nearly 40 Year Old David (DM)

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