A Christian Struggles to Fix Her Marriage, But Can She?

Do you wonder what’s off in your marriage like I did? It took me years and several counselors before I received help figuring it out. Read the prologue to recognize one of the tactics that can undermine a marriage.

​Prologue
The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.
–Shannon L. Alder

Approaching the church located in a small business park, I wonder how this latest counseling could possibly be of help. When my husband suggested I see Pastor Susan, I suspected he hoped she’d straighten me out. In the last fifteen or so years of our twenty-four-year marriage I’ve been to Gestalt therapy, couples counseling, family counseling, individual counseling, a women’s support group, yoga therapy, tried valium and other antidepressants, and even talked with my gynecologist. What more is there to learn? And from a conservative pastor? Still, a woman pastor in a conservative church is a bit unusual …
     Susan ushers me into her office and beckons me to a comfortable chair. I settle in, studying her attractive yet simple style, weighing the timbre of her voice, and noticing the smile wrinkles around her eyes. Feeling an immediate connection, I sigh in relief and pour out the frustrations that have been building in me over the last several years.
     “I don’t know how to be with Jim anymore,” I begin. “I don’t know if he dislikes me or is just too distracted to think of me. Whatever it is, I feel disregarded and disrespected, and I’m hurt and angry.”
     Susan listens to my story, nodding her head encouragingly. When I finish, she hands me a tissue. I hear compassion in her voice as she asks a few questions, jotting down my answers in her notebook.
​     “Has Jim ever hit you?”she asks.