Divorce Recovery Book Review: When Happily Ever After Shatters
“It was my own personal 9/11. A beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, birds chirping, children playing—when out of nowhere disaster struck with six words uttered by my husband: “I think I’m going to leave.”
So begins Sue Birdseye’s account of the beginning of the end of her marriage in her brave book, When Happily Ever After Shatters: Seeing God in the Midst of Divorce & Single Parenting. Following her husband’s devastating announcement, Sue fights to save their marriage of seventeen years. When she finally realizes her marriage is over, she is left to pick up the pieces for herself and their five children.
My goal of this blog is to bring “Help and Healing to Divorced Christians.” That’s exactly the aim of this book, and why I want to
bring it to your attention.
The author’s honesty and devotion to God shines through in the account of her struggles to move beyond the pain of her husband’s adultery and abandonment, using scripture as a source of encouragement to herself and her readers.
I was particularly impressed by Sue’s humble confessions of failing to live up to her own worldly standards, and reassured by accounts of God’s intervention when she was clearly incapable of coping on her own. She writes, “Practically speaking, God obviously wasn’t doing my dishes for me or dealing with my sticky counters, but His presence gave me strength to face each task, whether tedious or terrifying.”
The author offers practical steps and examples of how to survive throughout each phase of her journey, from the importance of wise counsel, nurturing and guiding children, to dealing with the ex and his new wife, “the adulteress.” She doesn’t shy away from describing the temptations she must deal with, the rage she sometimes feels at the unfairness of her circumstances, her struggles to achieve forgiveness, and the challenges of parenting.
Sue writes that it was difficult to ask her friends for help, but I would like to know if she asked her kids to step up a bit. She seems to have had a large circle of supportive friends, mostly through her church. I wonder if she would have had the same support if her situation involved emotional abuse instead of infidelity.
Although I did not have children at home during my divorce, I can relate to much of Sue’s experience.
I expect if you have recently been through divorce,
you'll find her book encouraging.
Like Sue, I discovered that, through the heartbreak of divorce, I grew closer to the Lord, and my trust in Him is now secure. I understand when she concludes, “I’m much better as a healed person than I ever was as someone who was simply well.”
Blessings,
Do you have a divorce experience to share? Have you been shamed or helped by a church because of your divorce? There are hurting people who need to hear your story, who need to know they are not alone, and who need to be encouraged. If you are interested in sharing your story, email Linda for guidelines:
Linda@LindaMKurth.com
Linda M. Kurth is a writer and a divorced and remarried Christian. In going through the divorce, she experienced opposing responses from the Christian community. After sharing some of those experiences in her upcoming memoir, God, the Devil, and Divorce, she's heard many stories of divorced Christians who have struggled with the same issue. This blog invites divorced Christians to tell their stories with the goal of encouraging churches to resist condemnation and become a source of healing and grace.
