A Love Without Caution
The day my son was born, I felt a love I had never felt before—a love that scared me.
My son, Joshua, is a miracle. He and I lived through a difficult pregnancy including an emergency surgery. He was born premature with underdeveloped lungs. After the doctor delivered him through an emergency cesarian section, nurses brought him to my face so we could "meet." He had a head full of dark hair, striking on such a tiny person, and a chin dimple to match his daddy’s.
Here was this new human being with a little face I hadn’t memorized, fingers I couldn’t touch, and a personality I didn’t know. And yet, snap, just like that, I loved him totally and completely.
He had my heart. And it scared me.
I had never felt a love like that. In my BJ Years (what I call my life "Before Josh" was born), I managed love carefully, loving with my brain and my heart but not with abandon. Those I cherished the most, my husband, sister, and best friend, were treasures I loved deeply and loyally, even completely, but somehow also safely.
Josh broke me from that way of loving. He simply waltzed into my life and bulldozed the guardrails around my heart. Suddenly, there was a person on this earth whom I would die for. Willingly.
I see God’s hand in that and I’m thankful. Had my guarded way of loving not been broken, I may not have grasped just how much God loves me. God’s love, love without caution, is what we read about in Romans 5.
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -- Romans 5:8 (ESV)
God didn’t wait to love us until we repented. He didn’t wait until we devoted our lives to him. God didn’t wait to love us until we were sanctified and Christlike. God loved us first, while we were still unlovely, before we knew Him or loved Him.
We have his heart.
God’s heart is so attached to us that even in our unrepentant state he declared us worthy of dying for.
God’s love makes my love for Josh pale in comparison. But my love for Josh is deep. So, how much deeper is God’s love for me? For you?
Fathoms deeper.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ." -- Ephesians 3:17b-18 (NIV)
Question for Reflection:
Next time you feel unworthy of love, think about how deeply God loves you. Jesus died because of love for you, willingly. What are your thoughts on that?
