Dumb stuff "Christians" say - Divorce Minister
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
-Proverbs 17:28
More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice and condemnation come all too freely for faithful spouses.
Here a few with my response a la Chump Lady (whose ridicule response to cheater-speak is my inspiration for this post):
Naive Christian: Well, I don’t want to judge. There’s always two sides to a story.
DM: That’s a rather strange response to adultery coming from a Christian. I wonder: what could she possibly tell you that would make committing adultery justifiable or okay? Please illuminate me on how “her side” of the story could change God’s condemnation of her adultery.
Naive Christian: You sound hurt and angry. Don’t take this wrong, but I really think you need to work on forgiving him. You don’t want to be bitter.
DM: I am hurt, because I have been soul raped. I am angry because I have suffered great injustice. These are appropriate and healthy emotions for what I have experienced. I am grieving major, major losses. What I do not need at this time is the weight of your self-righteous judgment. I need a friend like Jesus who weeps with those who weeps and actually cares about injustices.
Naive Christian: That’s awful that she cheated on you. But I hope you aren’t considering divorce. God hates divorce, after all.
DM: God must hate adultery more than divorce for He divorced Israel over it in Jeremiah 3:8. I see no problem following God’s example, do you?
*A version of this post ran previously.
