Faith of a Few Close Friends
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Then behold, they brought to Him a paralytic lying on a bed. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, “Son, be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.” -- Matthew 9:2
Caution: the following story may shock you.
“Really, God?! Didn’t You challenge me to pray this way? I never wanted to pray those verses. It felt presumptuous. After all the energy I poured into praying, after all the wrestling I did with doubting, You said ‘No’?! How can I trust whose voice is in my head? How do I discern the Holy Spirit from presumption—or demonic whispers? I prayed according to Your Word. How can I trust You? I’m so angry at You right now, I want to slam my car into a tree and see if it’s all real, You. Heaven. All of it!”
I did not slam into a tree. I wouldn’t let my jaded emotions rob my loved ones of my life. Like a frightened, angry child I held my spiritual breath and passed out of God’s presence. I turned my back on Him. I boxed my Bible and all my other spiritual books, even the journal with Scripture verses at the bottom of each page.
My to-do list that day included a recommitment of my agreement with our church's Statement of Faith (a requirement to serve in the church's various ministries). I just couldn’t do it. Our Family Life Pastor needed it that day. I called him to explain. My loving pastor heard the tremble in my voice; he knew I was in a fragile state. His wise questions unhinged a floodgate of angry, fearful tears. He asked, “Have you thought about harming yourself?” I confessed the suicidal thought that had flashed through my mind. “But I won’t,” I said.
Thirty minutes later, he and his wife were sitting with me and my husband—his boss—as the three of them listened to my weeping and wailing. With great mercy, my husband’s associate said, “Teri, your faith feels fractured. It’s okay. We will carry you, like those who carried a paralytic friend to Jesus. The Lord sees our faith, and that’s enough.”
In Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “A Christian fellowship lives and exists by the intercession of its members for one another.” We travel this sod of tears together. It’s never just me and Jesus. Faith is communal. When we are weak, our Savior surrounds us with shields of faith held by believers who stand firm. Our family puts us on a stretcher and carries us to the throne of grace.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, they say, “You are only as sick as your secrets.” Satan preys on those who hide their doubt; Jesus meets us in confession, just like He met Thomas, “Put your fingers in my wounds” (John 20:27).
Questions for Reflection:
1. If you are struggling with doubt, who are the few close friends you can be honest with?
2. When someone confesses their doubts, will you lift a corner of their stretcher?
