Freedom: A Constant Journey, Not an Instant Destination - The DV Walking Wounded:

NOTE: I didn’t want to post about this on April Fool’s Day, so I went ahead and sent it out today, LOL! I didn’t want you all to think I was joking about this, as I don’t find those kind of jokes funny.

I was re-reading one of my favorite spiritual blogs. You can read the one that inspired this message here: https://wavechurch.com/freedom-is-a-journey-not-an-instant-destination/. I wish they had continued this past 2020. I have emailed them to see if I could write for them, but have not heard back. Anyway, enjoy!

So, I had surgery #2, on my left hip on 04/01/2025, with surgery #1 healing nicely. My hips have to be replaced partially because I have genetic hip dysplasia, but mostly because I was an unwilling WWE partner, when my ex-husband decided to slam me around via physical abuse. I opted to do both this year because of the pain levels, but mostly because of the uncertainty of my federal government job…and so I only had to pay the deductible one time, which I also thought was a good move. Also, my Ortho doctor urged me to get an automatic transmission car, which I was able to do. I love my new car. Apparently, manual transmission (stick shift) cars can act as a repetitive motion injury to someone with a joint replacement and cause them more pain, as well as cause the joint to wear out more quickly. Most importantly, my hips only have a 20 year warranty on them! YIKES!

Getting to this point was and is constantly scary…not horribly so, in the beginning, but still unfamiliar. My future is unwritten, but it is now devoid of violence. I have to make the best decisions that I can and resign myself to live with the consequences of what I decided and what direction those decisions point me. Our Lord Jesus is my Captain and I have to pray for a clear mind and to be blessed with success — essentially I must walk His path. The Holy Spirit is always on the look out for you too, guiding on your way to be more Christ-like. We must learn to yield and to be more like Jesus in our decisions. We cannot just do whatever we want, just because we are grown-ups. How many times have you had to do what was in the best interest of your children, instead of what benefits you? I’ve had to take lesser jobs in order to maintain time and routine for my children…the good Lord knows that I could’ve used the money. The higher paying jobs require more time that I wasn’t willing to give, at time because the more important job was at home with my children.

So, what freedom looks like to you can change. However, while we are walking like Jesus, we have to be more like Jesus in our temperment: forgiving, selfless, loving…but not allowing people to take advantage of us or violate our boundaries…we’ve already done that and that did NOT work out well for us. I’ve had to use some tough love with my children, even though they are all now adults, in order to get them to start acting of their own accord. I work in customer service, so I serve others, but management seems to think that I take too long to interact. If these people need some help, I give them the resources. Ironically, it is a part of my agency’s mission statement, so I take the hit on my performance appraisals. i do not violate anything, but I serve the Public as I am supposed to, so I’ve made my managers aware I’m not on “autopilot” like many government workers get into, that I am helping and I don’t plan on changing that. I advocate for myself like I do for others. I have a love for myself and my fellow humans. I am authentically me and no longer water myself down to someone else’s opinion. If I am authentially myself, my people find me or they part ways with me (which meant we were not of the same tribe). I want people to eat, for sure, but not necessarily at my table. I am no longer the people pleaser that I once was. I approach people kindly, but with realism — something I was not allowed when in active abuse. I was a FemBot, like in the Austin Powers movies or the Stepford Wives movie. Devoid of emotion and personal thought…ugh…

Also, another part of freedom is continuously being grateful. Gratitude and thankfulness to God is the key to success and freedom. Be grateful for what you have and what you have been granted. Work hard for you goals and aspirations, but not at the detrimental expense of others. Be honest and truthful and forthright. I even started making a gratitude journal, so I could reflect on things that did go right in my life. It’s so easy to focus on the negative things. Gratitude journals are very easy to make. Checkout https://grateful.org/practice/ for tips and tricks to be grateful. A free printable gratitude journal can also be found here (shown above). It features two days per page and is very simple. I love this one and use if personally! I print it and punch holes to put it in a three-ring binder. Plain notebooks work too! Once you get a year’s journalling in, look back and reflect how good you really do have it!

Lastly, remember happiness and freedom go hand-in-hand. Choose to be happy, as it really is a choice. There are a few certificates in Happiness Studies. Harvard has an online one that is supposed to be amazing. Take a look here: https://www.edx.org/learn/happiness/harvard-university-managing-happiness. It is a free class, but to get a certificate, there is a cost.

Be free and grateful for everyday. Live your life in peace and freedom. Remember, nothing worthwhile is easy! Love and light! <3