From Shadows to Light: Finding Peace in the Midst of Anxiety and Depression
At 28, I don’t remember a time when anxiety and depression weren’t a daily occurrence. Like a constant companion, they were always with me—but they were never for me; they were against me.
I first felt anxiety at eight-years-old. It was like a pill stuck in my throat that I couldn’t dislodge, lingering uncomfortably throughout the day. By 12, I realized these feelings were more than just typical worries about tests or friends. My home felt unsafe, and I was restless.
In my teens and early twenties, I was surrounded by clouds by day and shadows by night. Everything felt gray and chaotic. I managed to function well and maintained a facade of having it all together, even with God. I knew the light of Christ lived within me, yet casting my anxieties onto Him wasn’t easy. I’d hand over my worries, only to have them return the next day.
Here’s what I learned: When I finally started counseling, I discovered that as Christians, we can find peace amid anxiety and depression. God comforts our spirits, but our mental health struggles are real and need to be addressed. My underlying mental health conditions made it hard to see the light of day. Those of us coming from broken homes and enduring decades of trauma can especially relate to this.
If you’re wrestling with overwhelming thoughts and depressive moods today, know this: God sees you where you are, and He isn’t mad at you. Feeling this way doesn’t make you a “bad Christian,” and there’s no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Here’s the truth: Mental illnesses require spiritual and practical healing. Sometimes we need help moving from shadows to light, and that’s okay. It makes us human.
Friend, God created you with purpose. He knows what you’ll struggle with, when you’ll struggle with it, and for how long. While I wish I could tell you what life is like without anxiety and depression, I can’t. But I can share how God has been with me through it all. I’ve experienced moments of peace, but I’m still waiting for complete healing. Only God knows if that’ll happen here on earth or in Heaven, and that’s okay.
Jesus came for those who know they are sick in need of a doctor, not for those who already think they have it all figured out (Luke 5:31-32). If you’re struggling, you’re in good company—both among those around you, and your Heavenly Father, who longs to comfort you in your darkness. You never know how God might use your battles to help someone else step into light.
Question for Reflection:
Do you wrestle with anxiety or depression? Do you feel guilty for not being able to “just stop worrying?” I used to feel that way, too. Here’s a thought to consider: Mental health issues don’t make us any less worthy to God. They are valid and real conditions, just like physical illnesses. If you’re struggling mentally, I highly recommend seeking professional Christian counseling, and engaging in practical coping skills. These tools changed my life, and I know they can change yours.
