I’m Not Anxious to Die … I’m Just Anxious to Matter — Carol McLeod Ministries

I heard a quote recently that has nestled deeply within my heart …

"I’m not anxious to die. I’m just anxious to matter."

I think that we all feel a little bit like that, don’t we?

We want our lives to count for something … we long to live beyond our “dash.”

We want someone to remember us.

Have you always wanted to matter?

Have you always deeply desired to live an amazing and unforgettable life of great passion and relentless enthusiasm?

I have.

I have wanted my life to smack of heaven’s participation and to be a grand show and tell of joyful and surprising miracles!

I have never wanted to settle for mundane … or for mediocre … or for average.

"Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;
And you who have no money, come, buy and eat.
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost." – Isaiah 55:1

I have hoped that the words “Carol” and “common” would never be used in the same sentence. I have wished that those two words would be mutually exclusive in meaning and in content.

"Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And delight yourself in abundance!" – Isaiah 55:2

Now … looking at my life from the outside … you might assume that much of my life is just that—unremarkable and prosaic.

It might seem from your perspective that I have settled for mundane … or for mediocre … or for average. You might falsely believe that “Common Carol” is the moniker attached to my existence.

But nothing could be further from the truth!

"Incline your ear and come to Me.
Listen, that you may live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
According to the faithful mercies shown to David." – Isaiah 55:3

You see … I am more aware of ordinary miracles than I am of my own existence.

I am absolutely smitten by the wonder of creation … by the whimsy of a beautiful poem … and by the sound of the laughter of children.

I can’t get enough of autumn leaves … and of spring flowers bursting forth … and of sweetly drifting snowflakes … and of the sound of bumblebees and birds!

My heart pounds in enthusiastic anticipation of what the next day holds … of what the next week will bring … and of what the next hour will deliver to my front door!

"Seek the Lord while He may be found;
Call upon Him while He is near." – Isaiah 55:6

Although, just like you, I get up every day and brush my teeth, make my messy bed, and fold yet another load of unending laundry … still, every breath that I breathe sparkles with the hope of an unexpected blessing and the priceless gift of yet another friend.

I tremble when I realize that I, just an ordinary girl, have the capacity to reveal the heart and love of Christ as I slog through this journey called life.

What is common about that?!

"Let the wicked forsake his way,
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
And let him return to the Lord,
And He will have compassion on him,
And to our God, for He will abundantly pardon." – Isaiah 55:7

I serve a God who forgave me so that I could live a life of smashing possibility and exponential faith!

He didn’t forgive me so that I would listlessly just “make it” through another boring day … but He forgave me completely so that I could sing my way through sorrow and hope my way through discouragement!

Now that’s the life that I am talking about!

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts." – Isaiah 55:8-9

God has created a life so grand for me that I can’t begin to tap into it with my human thinking patterns.

I must discover a way to think like God … emote like God … love like God … dream like God … hope like God … believe like God!

Is that even possible?!

"For as the rain and snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it bear and sprout,
And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
So will My Word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." – Isaiah 55:10-11

God’s Word will enable me to live a life of heaven’s grandeur and of daily miracles!

God’s Word is on assignment in my life to accomplish great things for all of eternity!

Are you speechless yet?

Are you breathless with the anticipation of what you were designed to accomplish in partnership with God’s Word?!

You were not made for ordinary!

You were made for eternity … and for miracles … and for thinking like God … and to live an incredible life in a human body!

"For you will go out with joy
And be led forth with peace;
The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you,
And all the trees of the field will clap their hands!" – Isaiah 55:12

Often, people don’t understand me.

They don’t understand or even agree with my commitment to joy.

Often, people whose lives have collapsed in a pile of tragedy, unending injustice, and complete mediocrity don’t want to be confronted with the possibility of living a life of joy.

And that’s okay.

They get to live their life the way they choose to do so … and I will live my life in the manner that I deem best for me.

And for me … the Word of God has miraculously changed me from depressed to joyful.

His Word did indeed accomplish the purpose for which it was sent from heaven to little ole me.

And for me … I have embraced a peace that passes understanding.

I don’t always like my circumstances, nor would I always choose them … but my circumstances don’t determine my level of peace.

I serve the Prince of Peace, who guarantees peace. That’s good enough for me.

And that incredible person that I have always wanted to be?!

The mountains and the hills of His creation are giving me a standing O!

My name may not be written in any history book … but God’s creation has taken note of my extraordinary ordinary life and is roaring with approval!

Thanks for listening to my heart this week.

As you know by now, my heart is truly not a perfect heart, but it is a heart that is filled to overflowing with gratitude for the life I have been given and for the people who walk with me.

And it continues to be a heart that is relentlessly chasing after God and all that He is!

Welcome back to the Significant Women Podcast with Carol McLeod! On today’s episode Carol is joined by Jessica Ronne: author, speaker, podcast host, CEO of The Lucas Project, caregiver advocate and mom of 8. Jessica loves chatting about faith, grief, food, simplicity, blended families, gardening, special needs, clean living, and everything else in between. Jessica has faced the unexpected grief of being a young widow alongside the challenges of being a mother to a special needs child, but has found peace in saying, like Christ, “not my will by thine be done.” Listen in for encouragement from someone who knows what it is to surrender her plans and dreams for what God has in store for her.

Connect with Jessica at https://www.jessplusthemess.com/

Learn more about the Lucas Project at https://thelucasproject.org/