Marriage as Ministry
In this month of February, when marriage is so often equated to dazzling diamond ring advertisements and sweet rom-com movies, it’s easy to get caught up in the hype. We know deep down that this is a very surface view of marriage, yet we still feel disappointed when these artificial romantic scenarios don’t play out the same way in real life.
Being two decades into marriage myself, one thing I know to be true is that we place an incredible amount of pressure on marriage to be so many things. We look for it to cure our loneliness, to make us feel complete, to help us fit in, to serve us financially and emotionally…the list goes on and on. I know I’ve been guilty of having this self-focused mindset! While marriage can certainly encompass many wonderful things, the pressure we place on it can take a toll and even diminish God’s original intent. That’s why as my husband and I have matured, we have come to look at marriage through a very different lens. That lens is ministry.
When we think of marriage as a ministry of service to one another, the pressure we place on our spouse lessens and the way we view them totally changes because our focus changes. We focus more on how we can serve them and how the Lord can use us together to serve others. This concept is much easier said than done, and I’m certainly not the first one to say it, but I am convinced that the sooner in your marriage you can make the paradigm shift from marriage serving you to marriage being a ministry, the stronger and more transformed both your marriage and you will become.
I’ve also noticed in my own marriage that this shift has made possible the letting go of certain expectations and comparisons that were holding us back. We can now better look at our marriage as a unique journey with one another and with God, where the journey itself is fulfilling, and where we can share what we’re learning with others. I’ve also found that the longer we're married, the more in step we are with one another and the better we can serve each other. My precious husband is far better at this than I, but I'm continuing to make progress! And the more we bring God into the equation and ask Him to be the glue that holds our bond together, the stronger it becomes. Be encouraged by this, friends, because it means that marriage can keep getting better and better over time!
A Bible verse that I think provides a great roadmap for marriage as ministry is Ephesians 4:2 – Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. This posture of humbleness, gentleness, patience, and love really sums up well what I believe is called of us as spouses. It's a tall order that challenges me daily, but we’re not alone. The Holy Spirit will empower us in our ministry to our spouses. We just need to ask.
May we pray fervently and often for our marriage and take deeply to heart the awesome honor and responsibility it entails.
Questions for Reflection:
1. Popular culture would have us believe things about marriage that can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. I have certainly found myself getting caught up in this “surface view” of marriage. If married, have you found yourself doing this, also?
2. How does Ephesians 4:2 guide the way you minister to your spouse (if married) and/or others?
3. If married, what are examples of some practical ways you can minister to your spouse?
