The Freedom Found in Forgiveness ~ Learning to Lay Down the Stones of Bitterness

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” -- John 8:36

Backpacking through the Sierras, my eight-year-old son wanted to keep every interesting rock he found.

Do you know how many interesting rocks are in the Sierras?

By the end of the day his little backpack sagged beneath the weight. In camp, he would carefully unpack his treasures, stacking and organizing them by color, shape, and size.

In the morning, he would pick up his pack and realize how much lighter it felt and decide the rocks did not need to continue the journey.

Still, each day more rocks, sticks, or other treasures added to his discoveries, until once again, his pack became too heavy for him to safely carry.

As parents, we had to guide him in letting go of what needed to be left behind.

Sometimes we travel through life the same way.

We collect offenses, wounds, and painful words until our souls begin to sag beneath the burden. We pull those hurts from our emotional knapsack, polish them, revisit them, and even display them like treasured possessions.

The world tells us that we have the right to be angry or bitter. It encourages us to hold our wounds high like a banner and never let ourselves be hurt again.

But Scripture offers another way.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Years ago, my husband began his communion message with these simple words:

“There is such freedom in forgiveness.”

Those words hit me like an icy, rogue wave.

What have I been letting hold me captive? What old stones had I continued polishing instead of surrendering?

I have a confession to make: forgiveness is something I have wrestled with. I have a keen ability to cling to hurts and offenses, convincing myself that in doing so, I am in control and protected from further pain.

But in reality, I am only extending the pain.

Every time I am tempted to pick up one of those old stones again, I must place it back at the feet of Jesus. Every time bitterness tries to replay the offense in my mind, I must obey Scripture and “take every thought captive,” (2 Corinthians 10:5) surrendering it once again to the One strong enough to carry it.

Forgiveness and wisdom must coexist. Forgiveness does not mean placing ourselves back into harm’s way. If someone is harming you, you need to seek help and not let it continue. However, part of the healing process is not allowing that hurt to stay in your heart where it will abscess if not tended to. (Hebrews 12:15)

Forgiveness is rarely a one-time event.

More often it is a moment-by-moment posture of our hearts, a continual decision to loosen our grip on the burdens we were never meant to carry and place them at the feet of Jesus.

Just like in any relationship, we need to regularly clear the air with God. Ideally, we would do that daily, but sometimes life gets in the way, and we forget about the importance of forgiveness.

Each day of the week I focus my prayers on a different area of my life. On Fridays, I specifically ask the Lord to reveal where I need forgiveness, who I need to forgive, and how to respond. It is a purposeful way to expose any hidden roots of bitterness and surrender them to Him, realigning my heart with His.

Today, ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart and eradicate any roots of bitterness or unforgiveness. The place those burdens on the shoulders of Jesus—the only One strong enough to carry them—and walk in the freedom forgiveness brings.