Thou shalt not commit adultery.

-Exodus 20:14, KJV

Christians need not dig very deep to figure out what went wrong in a marriage when adultery occurred.

Modern psychology and so called “Christian” counseling might disagree with me. However, I am very adamant that we do not treat adultery as a side issue or symptom to a marriage’s demise.

Why? God takes adultery seriously (see The Ten Commandments).

A truly Christian approach requires a pastor to treat adultery as always wrong and always potentially marriage ending–even if it “only” happened once (see Ex 20:14, Deut 22:22, Mt 19:9, etc.)

Breaking of this fundamental moral code–namely not committing adultery–is what went wrong in a marriage to a cheater. It is that simple.

If the cheater wants to explore the darkness in her heart (see Mark 7:21-23), they can dig there, too. Blaming the faithful spouse or the marriage is out of bounds in such discussions. The only hope for the cheater’s soul is for her to face her sin, take responsibility, and turn from it.

Question: What went wrong?

Simple Answer: One spouse chose adulterous abuse of their partner over honoring God and their marriage vows.

_________

*I call it “adulterous abuse” as we need to start talking about adultery as the abuse that it is.

**A version of this post ran previously.